working out anger
It can be difficult when we disagree or argue with the people in our lives.


From time to time, we can clash with people we care about – even with our families, or our friends. When people disagree with us, we can become emotional, angry or hurt.

Fighting Fair

  • Disagreements don't mean that our family or friends don't care about us, it's just that they have a different opinion.
  • When we are having an argument it is important to know how to talk it out or 'fight fair'.

Steps for 'Fighting Fair'

Take a deep breath

Know when you are upset. If you're too angry, you might need to walk away and calm down before talking to someone about what is bothering you. If you need time to calm down ask the other person if they can give you some space.

Talk about how you're feeling

Explain how you are feeling, why you are upset and what has happened to make you feel that way.


Listen to what the other person has to say. Don't interrupt. It's important that everyone gets their chance to explain how they are feeling.

Be respectful

Respect the other person's opinion. Even if you don't like what they're saying, just like you, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Be nice​

Don't call other people names or say hurtful things. Remember, words can cause pain and you won't be able to take them back when the fight is over.​

Hands off​

No matter how big the argument is, or how angry a person may feel, it is important that people in the argument do not hit, push or touch each other in anger. Everyone has the right to feel safe. No one has the right to hit you and you don't have the right to hit them.​

One thing at a time

Try to stay on the subject of what is bothering you, talk about one issue at a time, this will allow you to resolve the argument quicker.

Be truthful

It's important to stay honest. Try not to lie to make your argument stronger. Honesty is the best policy.

Agree to disagree

Everyone has a right to have their own opinions and at times you will have different opinions to people in your life. This doesn't mean that either belief is right or wrong, simply that you have different views.

Let it go

Arguments can make us feel angry and upset. When they are over, it's important to move on. Holding onto arguments can mean we continue to feel angry. If you are not feeling better after an argument and don't feel like you can let it go, talk to a trusted adult for advice. Remember, talking makes us stronger.

Support is available

  • Remember, however you are feeling, you have a right to support. 
  • Is there a trusted adult you can talk with about how you are feeling?
  • Childline is here to listen to you at any time.

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