Limerence should not be confused with a crush or natural feelings of longing or unrequited love that many teenagers experience. The two parties involved are the person experiencing limerence (the Limerent) and the object of their affection (Limerent Object or LO).
It can start out in a very similar way to love with the limerent experiencing excitement, joy or shyness when the LO says hello, smiles at them or gives them any sort of attention.
However, limerence progresses in a one-sided manner when the Limerent starts to believe there is a strong connection between them while the LO is completely oblivious to this.
The LO does not realise that every interaction they have with the Limerent is being turned into a fantasy narrative whereby they believe that even the smallest compliment is an unspoken declaration of love. They project their feelings of intense desire onto the situation and become obsessed with gaining the LO’s commitment.
In this Tiktok video, one therapist posits the theory that limerence can be associated with factors including attachment issues early in life, being on the spectrum or a recent experience with grief.