Alex's Answer

Wanting more mature friends

Your Question

Hey alex. I don’t really have a question, more of a vent with smaller questions. So, basically, Im young, and adults/ older teens are always like “oh you wouldn’t understand.” Or like “you wouldn’t know/you’re not mature enough” but, I’m more mature than others my age. I know the “birds and the bees”. I know inappropriate jokes, I know everything adults know. ( ok next vent. Theres multiple in this ) I really want to go to youth group,but there isn’t one close and my cousins is far from home. Basically I’m a bit jealous of my 15 yr old cousin. She’s in a choir, she sings, while the only ” public” singing I do is only once a month! And she has friends who understand inappropriate jokes and stuff. While I’m friends with 9-13 years olds who don’t even get it…I want friends I can joke with 

Answer

Hey there! Thanks for getting in touch.
 
It sounds like you’re going through a tough time with these feelings of frustration and isolation. Firstly, we want to say that it’s completely ok to feel this way, and you’re not alone. Many young people your age go through similar experiences where they feel more mature than their peers or crave connections with people who share their interests and sense of humour.
 
It can be really challenging when adults or older teens dismiss your feelings or experiences because of your age. Remember, maturity isn’t solely determined by age; it’s about understanding and handling complex emotions and situations, which it seems like you’re doing. It’s important for adults and older teens to recognise and respect your perspective and your feelings, even if they don’t always agree with them.
 
Feeling left out or jealous of your cousin’s experiences is completely normal too. It’s natural to want to explore different activities and make new friends who share your interests. While it might be tough to find a youth group nearby or friends who understand your jokes right now, remember that these things can change over time. Keep exploring your interests and seeking out opportunities to connect with people who make you feel valued and understood. Are there any sports clubs or other activities like dance or music classes in your area that you could join? These could be great ways to meet more people who share your interests. This article may be helpful for you www.childline.ie/making-friends/.
 
In the meantime, don’t hesitate to reach out for support whenever you need it. Whether it’s through Childline or trusted adults in your life, there are people who care about you and want to help. You’re not alone in this journey, and there are brighter days ahead.
 
Take care of yourself, and remember that your feelings are valid. You can always contact us at Childline by freephone 1800 66 66 66 or Messenger at www.childline.ie, just click on the purple chat circle. We’re confidential, non-judgmental, and open 24/7, always here for you, any reason, any time.
 
Alex

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