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Should we tell mum

is it wrong for me and my stepdad to be having an affair his with mum still but does not love her when she’s at work he can’t wait to get his hands on me I do have feelings for him shud we be honest with mum 


Hi, thanks so much for trusting us with your question here at Ask Alex. 


We are sorry to read that you are in such a difficult situation. It sounds like you are wondering if you should tell your mam about the affair you are having with your step- dad.  Keeping secrets can be really stressful, especially when we know that sharing the secret may hurt someone we love.  


We would be concerned about the relationship between you and your step- dad as he is an adult and you are a child. This is sexual abuse. The adults in your life should always have your best interests at heart and you have a right feel safe and comfortable in your home. We have some articles on our website that you may find helpful where we write about sexual abuse. “Sexual abuse or molestation is where a child or young person is used for the sexual stimulation of an adult or older adolescent.” You may find it helpful to read this article on our website:


There are laws in Ireland to ensure every child and young person has the right to be protected from all forms of abuse. If you experience any kind of abuse, reach out to a trusted adult, like a family member, teacher, youth worker or sports coach.  If you are ever in immediate danger, you can contact the emergency services on112 or 999 for free on any mobile phone or landline.   


If you feel that you need to talk this out some more, Childline are always here to listen 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to all young people who feel they need someone to talk to. You can always reach out by phone or online chat at any time, and a member of the Childline team will be there to listen in a safe and non-judgemental space, just for you. You can contact through our freephone service by calling 1800 66 66 66 or by Live Chat that you access through the website – you can start a chat by clicking on the Orange Tab on the right-hand side of your screen.  


Please reach out for support soon as what your stepdad is doing with you is very wrong. We are here to talk things through with you,


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