My friend group make me feel dumb and they ignore me
I’m in a friend group but I feel like I’m being ignored and they don’t really talk to me. They always expect me to be there with them basically all the time. Because of this I don’t really have any other friends apart from them. Whenever we end up talking about our test scores, I always end up being a but of the joke because they get better test scores than me. (They get around 70-90%; I get around 45-70%) and if I ever get more than one of them, they would say that I have cheated and that I am “Too dumb” to get that high. They make me feel dumb but I don’t know how to leave and/or make more friends?
Welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you for reaching out to us. You say you are being ignored by your friend group and that they don’t really talk to you. You also feel that you always end up being the butt of the joke because they score better than you in tests. You are not sure how to leave the friendship group or how to go about making new friends. That must be really hard on you, and we are sorry to hear you feel this way.
It can be very lonely when you feel like you are being ignored. Have you considered speaking with your friends about your feelings? They may not realise how their jokes make you feel or that you feel ignored, letting them know will give them a chance to change their behaviour. It may be easier to do this with one or two members of the group that you feel comfortable with rather than addressing them all at the same time. It might also be useful for you to think about how you might feel if you left your current group and also what it might be like to be part of a new friend group. It might be helpful for you to visualise each of those scenarios and/or to write down your feelings and thoughts about each situation. What feels good or bad about each scenario? Knowing when to move on from a friendship can be tough, as can making new friends. Perhaps these articles may help you with whatever you decide: https://www.childline.ie/how-to-know-when-to-break-up-with-a-friend/; https://www.childline.ie/how-to-know-when-youre-in-a-toxic-friendship-group/ ; https://www.childline.ie/do-you-struggle-to-make-friends-here-are-a-few-things-that-might-help/ and https://www.childline.ie/making-friends/. Remember, we all deserve to be surrounded by others who support and value us.
You also mention being made a joke of as they score better in tests than you. It is important for us all to remember not to compare ourselves with others; remember, we all have different skills and talents. Your results and your feelings are unique to you and may be different to those of your friends or classmates and that is absolutely fine. After you receive your results, it can be helpful to avoid too much analysis of the exams and instead be kind to yourself and do something you enjoy.
Sometimes speaking with a trusted adult can be helpful. They may be able to offer support and advice for dealing with your feelings around your friendships. This trusted adult could be a parent, teacher, aunt, uncle, etc., whoever you feel comfortable with that will take the time to listen and help you.
If you are not yet ready to discuss it with your trusted adult, you are can always to talk to Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text to 50101, or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline is here for you anytime and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The services are free and confidential. We are non-judgemental, and we will not tell you what to do. We can help you explore what options may be available to you.
Look after yourself,