Mom is mad because I got a tattoo
My mom found out I got a tattoo underage and now she’s really mad and upset with me. She was threatening to kick me out but decided against it. How do I better our relationship?
Hi there, and many thanks for your question.
Firstly, well done for reaching out and talking about this. Dealing with family conflict can be really difficult and it can be hard to know what to do. You have the right to get support with this, so we are glad you have chosen to do that.
You mentioned your mom was very mad and upset about the tattoo. You also said that she threatened to kick you out. It can be really hard when we feel our parents are angry with us as our self worth can be tied up in their love and validation. It is normal that parents would get angry with their children from time to time, but it can be quite harmful when a parent starts to use threats or when they are constantly angry with the young person. You might find this article useful if you feel that you are constantly finding it hard to cope with your mom’s anger www.childline.ie/how-to-live-with-a-parent-who-has-anger-issues.
Your mom would have a legal obligation to ensure you are kept safe until you are an adult which would mean she could not kick you out of your homeand it would not be okay for her to threaten to kick you out.
Perhaps, you and your mom ordinarily get on well, but this was an argument that got out of hand. We are hearing that you really want things to improve., which is showing the respect you have for your relationship with your mom. You may like to have look at this article also, www.childline.ie/how-to-manage-family-relationships/.
Open and honest communication can really help improve parental relationships. It sounds like your mom was unaware that you were getting a tattoo, so there is a sense that perhaps you did not trust that you could tell her about this. We wonder what it would be like to talk to your mom about the reasons for your decision and how you felt about how she treated you after? If you feel that she did not treat you well it can be helpful to express this so she can understand your feelings and viewpoint. Similarly, like it would be important for your mom to listen to you, it would also be important that you listen to your mom too. By listening to what each other has to say can give you both a better understanding of where one another was coming from. Even if you don’t agree with each other’s viewpoint, it is important for the relationship that you show respect to each other by listening to each other.
We hope you find this information useful. Please remember it can be really helpful to talk about relationship difficulties. If you feel like you can’t talk to your mom, you have the right to seek support from a trusted adult like a teacher or another family member
You are also welcome to contact us in Childline by calling us on 1800 66 66 66, or via our Live Chat at www.Childline.ie . Childline is a free non-judgemental safe space to chat and is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Take care of yourself, and well done for reaching out,