Alex's Answer

Is this bullying?

Your Question

Does this count as bullying? My ex best friend and I have seperate friend groups now. I used to be friends with some of the people she hangs around with but they all hate me now- and same with my friends to hers. I have seen their mean side and I’m honestly disgusted. They always make fun of us and say horrible things and whenever I walk by they start laughing. It feels awful when it happens to me but I still do it back to them because if I do nothing I’m a coward 

Answer

Hi there, and welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thanks so much for reaching out with your question. We know that it can be difficult to talk about our feelings.  

It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of negativity and hostility from your ex-best friend and her friend group. The behaviour you describe, where they make fun of you and say hurtful things, can certainly be considered a form of bullying. Here is an article on bullying from the Childline website: www.childline.ie/what-is-bullying/ . 

It’s understandable that you may feel the urge to respond in kind to their behaviour, but responding with the same meanness and negativity will only escalate the situation and could very well make things worse. It’s important to try to stay calm and not let their behaviours get the best of you.  

It takes courage to choose not to retaliate, and it is not cowardly to take the high road. In fact, responding with kindness and refusing to engage in their negativity can help to make the situation better and show that you are not willing to be part of this bullying behaviour.  

It is never easy to lose a friend. It may also be helpful to talk to someone you trust about what you are going through.  They can provide support and guidance on how to handle the situation in a healthier and more positive way that reflects the person you want to be.   

You are very welcome to chat to us at Childline. We are a free listening service for young people 18 years of age and youngers. The service is available to you 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Childline does not judge you and will listen to what you have to say. You can contact Childline by telephone on 1800 66 66 66 or by webchat which available through the Childline website: www.childline.ie , just click the orange Live Chat tab. We would really like to chat you about what’s going on for you.  

Thank you for being brave and getting in touch with us. Mind yourself,  

Alex 

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