Pat's Answer

I think my mother has been manipulating me

Your Question

I think my mother has been manipulating me and emotional hurting me and she gets angry when I say it and I don’t want to hurt her but I doesn’t feel right


Welcome to Ask Pat,  

Thank you for contacting us with your question. We are sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds like you are having difficulty when you talk to your mother about how you’re feeling about your relationship with her, and she is getting angry with you when you mention it. It’s understandable you don’t want to hurt your mother but you have the right to be listened to, and to get support if you are feeling hurt. 

No one has the right to harm or hurt you physically, mentally or emotionally. Your parents have a responsibility to look after you, to care for you, and to listen to you. We understand it can be difficult sometimes to talk to our parents about our thoughts and about how we feel. However, talking and sharing your thoughts and feelings with others may help you through what you are experiencing. It is okay to ask for help and support. Maybe you would feel more comfortable talking to another adult you trust about what is going on at home and your relationship with your mother such as an aunt/uncle, grandparent, teacher or coach. You have a right to be heard. Or it might be easier to talk to someone you don’t know first. Remember, you have a right to seek support.  

There are organisations that offer this type of help and support. One such service is This website may help you understand what is going on for you or they may offer you a way to avail of other support services. The Childline website has a section of helpful articles at This article on asking for help may be useful:  

You could also get in touch with Tulsa, the Child and Family Agency in Ireland.  Tulsa social workers are there for young people under the age of 18 years, and their job is to make sure that children and young people safe at home. You can find your local Tulsa office here if you would like to get in touch with them or get information. 

Remember, you can always phone Childline on 1800 66 66 66 to talk about what is going on for you. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our text service 50101 and Web Chat service through are also available daily. While we do not tell you what to do here at Childline, we are here to listen to and support you, and to help you to explore the options that are available to you in your life. We are here to help you in a way that suits you. 

Take care, 


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