Alex's Answer

Don't know how to move on

Your Question

Why did my father watch porn around me and constantly talk about sex with me? I’ve moved out but I can’t understand why he would do this. I feel like I’ll never have a normal sexual relationship with any possible partners because of this. Whenever I think of sexual things I always remember what he would say and do. I don’t know how to move on from it.

Answer

Hi, thank you for contacting Ask Alex. 

It is concerning to hear what your father has done. What you are describing is sexual abuse and it is illegal to expose a child or teenager to sexual material like pornography. To learn more about what classifies as sexual abuse you can read this article: www.childline.ie/what-is-sexual-abuse/

It is normal for a parent to have a talk about sex with their child at an appropriate age for the purposes of educating them on the facts of life, however, it is not normal for a parent to constantly talk about sex or go into explicit details about it. 

It is good to hear that you have moved out and are no longer in that situation but it sounds like what you have experienced has had a serious effect on your life. It is completely fair to wish to have a healthy sexual relationship with a partner. 

While we cannot know all details or fix them here, have you thought about contacting a professional for help and talk about what happened? A therapist may be able to help particularly one who specialises in matters concerning sexual and past trauma. CARI is an organisation who offer support for young people who have been affected by child sexual abuse.

You’ve been very brave to ask these questions and share how you are feeling. If you need to talk further, we offer a confidential and anonymous freephone service called Childline where you can chat about your thoughts and feelings and what is going on in your life.

While our team aren’t therapists they are trained to listen and it could be a source of support for you. It’s available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can phone 1800 66 66 66 or webchat with us at www.childline.ie  

Thanks for getting in touch. Take care of yourself and stay safe,

Alex 

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