Alex's Answer

Hello and welcome to Ask Alex,  

Well done for asking such an important question and starting this conversation! This is the very first step to opening up about your thoughts and feelings, plus, many other young people may want to know the answer to this question too.  

We understand you are pointing out that a lot of young people do not have trusted adults around them or don’t feel comfortable telling adults their problems. Firstly, here at Childline, we believe that talking makes us stronger – for various reasons. Whatever you are feeling, whether it’s happy, sad, angry or confused, it helps to put feelings into words, and putting feelings into words helps you use self-control when you feel angry or upset. Talking helps to validate and process our feelings, clear our minds and develop emotional awareness. It can help make you feel better. 

Secondly, we recommend a trusted adult because they are likely to know you quite well and have context for what it is you are experiencing or your life in general. This adult may also be in a position to provide you with perspective, support and/or help you gain access to the appropriate resources. That’s not to say you shouldn’t speak with someone around your own age like a sibling, cousin or friend, we recommend that too! The important thing is that you know you are not alone and don’t need to deal with things on your own. 

Sharing with others what is going on for us is not an easy thing to do because we are never sure how others will react or what they will think. It might be helpful to consider what is the worst possible response you can get from a friend, parent, cousin, teacher and then think about the best response you could hope for from them. Often, we don’t give those around us enough credit or the benefit of the doubt when it comes to opening up about our concerns. They are in our lives and chances are, they love us, and they want what’s best for us and would want to help in any way they can, so why not start there? Carrying things on our own and not having the release of opening up to someone every now and again, may actually be much, much harder to cope with in the long run and potentially detrimental to our wellbeing, than having a conversation about our worries and problems with someone who cares – even if it is a bit awkward.   

If you do not feel ready just yet to speak to someone in your day-to-day life, please remember that our Childline service is here for you. You can reach out to talk or chat to us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and our services are free and confidential. You can talk to us by phone on  1800 66 66 66  or chat to us one-to-one via our webchat on  www.childline.ie. We will not judge anything you say to us or tell you what to do. We will look at what options may be available to you, with you. 

You might find this article on our website useful: https://www.childline.ie/not-sure-how-to-ask-for-help-heres-what-to-do as well as these: https://www.feelmo.com/post/10-reasons-why-talking-about-your-feelings-is-important ; https://www.mytalklet.com/post/talking-about-your-feelings.  

We hope that you find the information provided above useful and again, we would like to thank you for reaching out to Ask Alex. You have made a great first step by speaking out, please continue to look for the help and support you deserve.    

Look after yourself.   

Alex.