Pat's Answer

Hello and welcome to Ask Pat.

Thank you for writing into us. We are glad that you found the courage to talk about what is going on for you at the moment.

You asked why you aren’t good enough. We are concerned that you feel not good enough and it sounds like you may be struggling with your self-esteem. Our self-esteem refers to our opinion of ourselves and the way we feel about our various strengths and abilities. When our self-esteem is low, we may feel like others are better than us and we may also struggle with confidence and stating our needs. Our thoughts about ourselves can be negative and having low self-esteem can impact on our quality of life. It is important to remember that feelings are not facts. We can increase our self-esteem in various ways such as becoming aware of and challenging our negative thoughts, taking the time to consider our good points and by forgiving ourselves for any past mistakes. Does this sound like something you could do?

Perhaps you have people in your life who are influencing the way you see and feel about yourself. When we receive overly critical or negative feedback from family and/or friends, it can negatively impact on our self-esteem. Remember, you have the right to be happy, to feel valued and loved and to have healthy, supportive relationships. No one has the right to make you feel not good enough.

Have you considered talking to an adult you trust about your feelings of not being good enough? It can be scary opening up about our feelings, but this trusted adult (family member, teacher, pastor) may be able to help you explore the ways you can increase your self-esteem or help you explore options for additional support.

Childline is also always here if you would prefer someone to talk to who you don’t know. You can contact the Childline team by phone 1800 66 66 66, text 50101 or by chatting online at https://www.childline.ie/. Our service is free, confidential and available 24/7. At Childline you will always be listened to, and you will never be judged.   

We hope this response was helpful to you. Remember, you are not alone.

Take care,

Pat