Pat's Answer

When is the line crossed

Your Question

when is the line crossed because I’m 16, and my dad slaps my ass when I bend over and he used to lay in bed with me and hold my thighs even when I tried moving away from him

Answer

Hello, welcome to Ask Pat. 

Thank you so much for trusting us with what is going on for you right now. We know it can be difficult, but we also know how great it is for young people to share their problems. Talking about and sharing what is going on for you is a big step forward. 

You are asking when is the line crossed when your dad touches and slaps you inappropriately. You also mention that your dad used to lay in bed with you and hold your thighs and prevented you from moving. It is understandable that you are questioning your dad’s behaviour and feeling uncomfortable with what your dad is doing.  

We are quite concerned about what is happening for you with your dad. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable and touch you in an inappropriate manner. Your dad would not have the right to touch you in the way you have described. Right now, it seems like you might not be safe at home. If you feel you are in any danger in your home at any time, you can contact the emergency services at 999 or 112. You have the right to be safe at all times. 

You are taking the right steps in reaching out and seeking help. That is such a brave thing to do. You have a right to get help and support for everything you have mentioned. You have the right to be listened to and to be heard, around what you are experiencing. Sometimes talking about what we are going through with a trusted adult can help us to make decisions. Would there be a trusted adult that you could go to? We know that it can be hard to open up to someone who is close to us, so maybe talking to somebody outside of your family who you are comfortable talking to might work better for you at first.  

Here is some information and articles that you might find helpful. Túsla is the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. In Túsla, there are social workers whose job it is to make sure that all people under the age of 18 are safe. You can find your local Túsla office here www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/local-area-offices/. There are some articles on the Childline website which may also help you with your question, www.childline.ie/what-is-abuse/www.childline.ie/getting-along-with-family/  

You do not have to go through this alone. Childline is here for you and we really would love to listen to you. At Childline we are focused on you and what is important to you. The services are free and available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. The team do not judge anything you say but will listen to everything you wish to share. You can contact us through our telephone service 1800 66 66 66, through our text service on 50101, or by web chat that you access through the website www.childline.ie.   

We hope that you find some of the above helpful. Remember you have already made a great attempt in reaching out and describing what’s going on for you. If you have any more questions, please do get in touch with us, whichever way you feel most comfortable; phone, text or web chat.   

We hope to hear from you soon. Take care of yourself,   

Pat.   

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