Alex's Answer

Uncomfortable around uncle

Your Question

is it bad that im uncomfortable around my uncle? im transgender and when he found out a while ago (when me, my mom and him were visiting my sister. my mom was getting the ticket so he could park) and he turned around and started talking to me saying stuff like ‘its a phase’ and ‘dont change your body’ which is REALLY weird to say considering ive been trans years prior and im not ever doing so. and that alongside his weird behaviours made me really uncomfortable around him. i cant even sit on my couch alone with him without being fucking scared. i remember when i was younger i stayed at his place for the day. (about 6) and it was fun but i dont remember what happened at night though. is it bad that im uncomfortable around him?


Hi there, welcome to Ask Alex!

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your feelings. It’s completely understandable to feel uncomfortable around someone who dismisses your identity and makes you feel unsafe. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to prioritise your well-being.

It’s not bad at all to feel uncomfortable around your uncle. Everyone has the right to feel safe and respected, especially around family. The comments your uncle made about your identity were not supportive and could naturally make you feel uneasy. It’s ok to distance yourself from situations or people that make you feel scared or anxious.

It’s also concerning that you have some unclear memories from when you were younger. If anything about your past experiences feels off, it’s important to trust your instincts. You have every right to talk to someone you trust about these feelings, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a professional.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. There are resources available to support you. You can reach out to TENI (Transgender Equality Network Ireland), BeLonG To, or LGBT Ireland for help. They provide valuable support and can connect you with others who understand what you’re going through.

And of course, Childline is always here for you. We are open 24 hours a day, every day. You can contact us for free at 1800 66 66 66 or by Messenger at We’re here to support you and help you explore your options. You’re never alone.

Take care and stay safe,


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