Pornography often doesn’t represent a healthy approach to sex and relationships.
Fantasy vs Reality
When consuming online pornography, it’s important to be aware of the strong fantasy element. When you’re young, it’s easy to believe that what you see in pornography is what sex is supposed to be like in real life.
The people in pornographic films aren’t meant to look real and you should not expect to look like them.
It’s important for you to realise that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that pornography will usually only show a hyper-sexualised version of genitalia, breasts and body shape.
This is particularly important for girls who may feel pressure to look more like the women they see in pornographic films.
Another thing to consider is that sex in pornography is not realistic. There is a lot more to a healthy relationship than having sex.
Pornography rarely shows this side of relationships and sex, in general, doesn’t look or sound like it is depicted in pornographic films.
Consent
Another important element of a healthy attitude to sex is consent.
Consent is the foundation on which a healthy sexual relationship is built. Consent is not just a yes or no. It should be enthusiastic and ongoing, something that is rarely shown in pornography.
Remember that no person should be touched without their permission. People are not solely sexual objects and, therefore, should not be treated as such.
When exploring sexual preferences, you and your partner should always do so in a caring and considerate manner. Do not assume that someone likes the same things that you do!
Curiosity
There is no shame in being curious about sex.
But remember to approach pornography like you would with anything else. Cast a critical eye on what you’re watching and do not compare yourself or your partner to the actors!
If you do come across something that upsets you or distresses you, find a trusted adult such as a parent or carer to talk to.
An open, non-judgmental dialogue is the best way to build a healthy attitude toward pornography.
Points to Consider
- It’s important for you to realise that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that pornography will usually only show a hyper-sexualised version of genitalia, breasts and body shape.
- Sex generally doesn’t tend to look or sound like pornography does.
- It’s important to understand the basis of consent and that no person should be touched without their consent.
- When exploring sexual preferences, you and your partner should always do so in a caring and considerate manner. Do not assume that someone likes the same things that you do!
- Remember, there is no shame in being curious about sex or pornography!
- If you do come across something that upsets or distresses you, find a trusted adult such as a parent or carer to talk to.