Alex's Answer

Pulling me in between them

Your Question

I don’t know how to explain it but my parents are arguing the hole Time and they are pulling me in between them and I am finding it hard not to hert the other parent 

Answer

Hi there, thank you for contacting Ask Alex.  

It’s very brave of you to contact us as we know it’s not always easy for young people to talk about things going on at home.  

You are wondering about how you should deal with your parents arguing and pulling you into their arguments. We want to remind you that you have the right to feel safe and respected in your home and it is the responsibility of parents and caregivers to provide that protection to you.

We understand that families can be complicated and there can be difficulties getting along with each other sometimes. However, if your parents engage in frequent fighting and violence towards each other, this constitutes domestic violence. Young people can sometimes feel responsible in these situations, but it’s important to know that you are never to blame—even if an argument is about you.   

Have you thought about sharing what is happening to you with a trusted adult in your life, perhaps your parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle, teacher, or someone you feel comfortable talking to? You might feel better if you communicate your feelings to a trusted adult in your life. This, along with other information and suggestions, are included in articles on the Childline website which may also help you with the issues you are facing at the moment:  

  1. www.childline.ie/getting-along-with-family/ 
  2. www.childline.ie/domestic-violence/  
  3. www.childline.ie/what-to-do-if-you-live-with-parents-who-are-constantly-fighting/
  4. www.childline.ie/how-to-manage-family-relationships/ 

You do not have to go through this alone. If you feel that you cannot talk to somebody you know just yet, then Childline is here for you. We would really love to listen to you. At Childline we are focused on you and what is important to you. The services are free and available 24 hours a day every day. The team do not judge anything you say. You can chat to us through our webchat service, by clicking on the  purple Messenger circle on www.childline.ie or call us for free at 1800 66 66 66. 

We hope you found this information helpful and please get in touch if you have any other questions.  

Take care of yourself,  

 Alex

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