Alex's Answer

Pronouns are so confusing

Your Question

See pronouns are very confusing, I’m starting to use he/they even though I’m a girl. Am I transgender? I don’t feel like a boy but I really like using those masc terms!! 


Hi there, 

You’re really welcome to Ask Alex today. Thanks so much for getting in touch. We know it’s not always easy to talk about the things that are on our minds. 

You say you’re starting to use he/they pronouns even though you are a girl, and that you like using those masculine terms, but you don’t feel like a boy. It’s understandable that you would be feeling confused by how you’re feeling. 

Everyone has pronouns that they go by, and they may match the gender the person was assigned at birth (cisgender). However, as people grow up, sometimes, they realise they may identify more with a different gender and that’s okay. Transgender describes a person whose gender identity is different from the gender they were assigned at birth. Your gender identity is what you feel on the inside, and it doesn’t have to match with your body or how other people in your life see you. Lots of people explore their gender identity throughout their lives and identify differently at different times.  

Has there been anyone in your life that you’ve been able to talk to about starting to use different pronouns? It’s important that you feel comfortable talking through how you’re feeling with someone that you trust, and can give you the space to do that. This person could be a friend, a parent, another family member or a teacher.

There are also some organisations out there that offer support if you want to talk about exploring your gender identity. Belong To ( have lots of different supports available, and lots of information on their website. This article may be helpful for you too

You have been so open and honest in getting in contact with us today and we’re here for you if you’d like to talk a bit more about how you’re feeling. We would love to hear from you. We have a webchat service (Live Chat through and a phone service (1800 66 66 66), and both are open 24/7. We offer an anonymous, confidential and non-judgmental safe space for you to talk about whatever is on your mind. Little or big.

Take care of yourself, and well done for getting in  touch,


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