Alex's Answer

Points out my insecurities

Your Question

Hey alex. So basically sometimes my friend points out my insecurities. Like we’re just chilling, shes doing my makeup, then she’ll randomly say “omg you have a pimple. Can I pop it?” And I tell her that, well, popping pimples is bad and it’ll cause more acne. Sometimes she’ll try to guilt trip me into letting her pop them. As if the doesn’t care about my appearance or how I feel. And sometimes she’ll say like “you have a unibrow” when I have small hairs there that no-one could see unless they were looking for insecurities. Like I only notice them when I’m blending foundation or putting my acne-go-away cream and stuff. So idk and she’ll point out my harry legs. Like girl.. I JUST STARTED SHAVING! YOURE GONNA HAVE ACNE AND A UNIBROW AND HARRY LEGS IF YOU KEEP POINTING ALL THESE OUT. IM OLDER THAN YOU. OF COURSE I HAVE THESE. Also I’m the only kid my age that has acne. And I’m afraid of having it as long as my sister. My sister has had it since 11, now she’s 27. And still has acne.

Answer

Hello and thanks for getting in touch. 

So your friend is bringing up insecurities about your appearance? That must be difficult for you. 

It’s important to set healthy boundaries within the relationships in our life. This can be anywhere, with family life, friends, romantic relationships, school and work etc. Boundaries are important to protect ourselves and others. This can mean protecting our feelings and emotions as well as being safe from physical harm. Here is an interesting article that explains it in more detail, www.childline.ie/how-to-set-boundaries-in-different-areas-of-your-life/.

It sounds like you are experiencing unwanted negative comments or feedback from your friend and you are entitled to be free from that type of discussion if you want to be. You deserve to have positive energy and encouragement from the people in your life. 

When it comes to feeling insecure about our bodies, that’s a common feeling for most people especially in our teenage years, as we can go through sudden changes as we grow up. Something generally undesired like acne can be difficult to deal with and the uncertainty of not knowing how long you might have to deal with it can be challenging. In case you haven’t considered it already, maybe a doctor or medical specialist can help out with this.

Regardless of how our bodies look, it’s important to remember that we are all unique and our looks are just a part of being individual and we can come to appreciate our appearance. Here is another article you might like to have a look at, which talks about learning to love ourselves and our looks www.childline.ie/draft-how-to-learn-to-love-the-way-you-look/.  

We hope this helps you a bit. Good luck with you and your friend. Remember to look after yourself. If at any point you want to chat more about this in a confidential setting, you can contact our Childline Ireland freephone service at 1800 66 66 66 or our webchat through the Childline website. 

Thanks for your question and take care of yourself, 

Alex

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