Alex's Answer

Not seen my brother in 8 years

Your Question

i haven’t seen my brother since our grandfather’s funeral eight years ago. i remember him and what he looks like, his eyes, his voice, his face, his name. i’m sixteen now and he’d be around fifteen now and he’s doing his junior cert and i feel like i’m missing out on so much of his life since our ‘father’ won’t let us see each other anymore. is it normal to miss him when i haven’t seen him in so long? i don’t even know what school he goes to. i just miss him so f***ing bad 

Answer

Hello, thanks for your question to Ask Alex. 

You’re telling us that you haven’t seen your brother in 8 years, but that you remember him and you feel like your missing out on his life.  You’re wondering if it’s normal to miss him, is that right? 

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time at the moment. It’s perfectly natural to have that feeling of missing someone, regardless of how long or how well you know them.  It must be very frustrating knowing that you have a brother but not being able to be part of his life. 

Have you been able to speak to anyone about how you are feeling?  Maybe there’s a family member or another adult you trust that you can share with, and who can support you through this time? 

You could also try writing down how you are feeling, maybe even trying to write a letter to your brother with everything you are feeling and how you miss him.  You don’t have to send the letter, but writing things down can often make us feel better.  You could keep the letter for when you do see him so he will know that you’ve been thinking of him. 

We understand that it can be difficult to reach out and talk about how you’re feeling.  You can always reach out to us here at Childline if you’d like to talk some more.  We offer a free, confidential and non-judgemental listening service 24/7.  You can contact us by phone on1800 66 66 66 or chat with us through our webchat service, by clicking on the purple Messenger circle at www.childline.ie.  We would love to hear from you. 

Take care of yourself, 

Alex

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.