Alex's Answer

My sister was diagnosed with BPD/EUPD, how can I support her

Your Question

My name is sophie my parent have been divorced for years i never really ever had a close relationship with my dad and i dont think i ever will he got married last year in new york and told us three days before in january my sister was diagnosed with BPD/EUPD i am trying my best to be understanding and careful with her but i cant lie she is diffucult to live with myself my brother and mum are all a bit lost in how to deal with her sudden outbursts and quick changes of mood we just came back from a holiday where she was very difficult and ruined my birthday im trying to be understanding but i dont know how to help her ,

Answer

Hi there, and welcome to Ask Alex,
 
Thank you for sharing with us. It’s great that you’re trying to be understanding and supportive, even though you’re facing some challenging situations with your family. Dealing with a sibling who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD/EUPD) can be challenging, but there are ways to navigate these difficulties while also taking care of yourself.
 
First, it’s essential to remember that your sister’s behaviour is not her fault. BPD/EUPD can intensify emotions and lead to outbursts and mood swings. It’s not something she can easily control, and it can be distressing for her as well. Take the time to educate yourself about BPD/EUPD to gain a better understanding of what your sister is experiencing.
 
Open communication is key. Try talking to your sister when she’s calm and willing to listen. Express your concerns and let her know that you care about her well-being. Encourage her to seek professional help or therapy if she’s not already doing so. Setting boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Inform your sister about behaviours that are unacceptable and how her actions affect you. Be firm but compassionate when communicating these boundaries.
 
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you cope with the stress and emotions you’re going through. Remember that it’s okay to prioritise your own mental and emotional health. Consider suggesting family therapy as an option, as it can provide a safe space for everyone to express their feelings, learn coping strategies, and improve communication within the family.
 
Lastly, be patient with your sister as she works through her challenges. Remember that you can’t ‘fix’ your sister, but you can offer support and understanding. It’s also crucial to communicate with your mother and brother about how you all can work together to provide the best support for your sister while also taking care of yourselves. If things become too overwhelming, don’t hesitate to reach out to us again. Childline is here for you to listen and to support you. Childline can be contacted through the free phone number 1800 66 66 66 or through their website www.childline.ie by clicking on the orange Live Chat tab. There will be somebody there 24/7 to answer you whatever time or whenever you decide to get in touch with us.
 
We hope this helps!
 
Wishing you all the best on this journey,
Alex

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