Pat's Answer

To Pat / 30 March 2020

Topic: My parents won’t listen to me

Your Question

Hi, my parents won’t ever listen to me, they expect so much from me and I have tried explaining to them that I am trying my best but it is still not enough. they get mad at me from the silliest things. an example, cause of the corona I thought I had left my math book at home but it turns out I actually left it in school. I didn’t mean to and I apologized but my mother got so mad and told me I was stupid and I could never do things right. I also have hyperactivity and I knew that and a couple of months ago a teacher pointed that out , and “ever since” she said that I have gotten “worse” says my mother. no, all my sports have been cancelled and I spend most of my time indoors, i’m dying here.

i know i seem dramatic but there are other things, i’m the oldest sibling ( 12 ) and I go to bed at 8:30, so does my 6 year old sister. I’m not allowed all the social media apps except snapchat. And i have a iphone 4, i don’t mean to sound ungrateful but i feel i deserve maybe a 6, i moved schools when i was 8 and it was hard for me. i suffered from pretty bad anxiety. I HAD BONES IN MY FEET THAT WERE NOT STRAIGHT AND MY MOTHER BLAMED ME FOR IT. she said it was from all the times i had done flips without the mat ( when it wasn’t, the doctor said) . I had to have an operation. i just feel so unloved and underappreciated. i do lots of helpful things that my mother doesn’t see, i make my isters lunch and sometimes dinner. yet when i ask to stay up later i get shouted at for “always” wanting more.



its really affecting my mental health and i just want to die, i have family up there, and at least my grandparents love me

please help me i have no one to talk to

From Pat / 03 April 2020

Answer

Hi there,

It sounds like you have a lot going on. It seems that you feel no matter how hard you try, your parents never think it’s enough. From what you say your mother always finds reason to put you down or to blame you.


It’s understandable that you feel angry. You don’t mention your dad much, what is your relationship with him like? You say you have tried explaining to your parents that you are doing your best but it sounds like they are not listening to you. When you try to speak to your parents do you find a time when they are free to listen to you? Maybe a time when they are not busy or distracted doing other things might be good. And if that didn’t work how would you feel about writing it in a letter to them, sometimes it’s easier to say how you feel about things all at once without any interruption. What do you think about that?


You do have the right to be heard, and the right to be listened to.


You were also saying that you are missing all your sporting activities due to the lock down, and it’s natural that you feel it’s affecting your mental health, exercise can be very helpful in clearing the head. Have you tried getting out in the air and maybe doing some physical exercise to counteract the hyperactivity that you feel? If you feel it’s tough coping with all the emotions you feel around what’s going on for you, you would have the right to talk a trusted adult, that could be an aunt or uncle, a grandparent or if you wanted,you can always chat to us here in Childline. Our freephone number is 1800 66 66 66 or you could use our free text service 50101, we would be delighted to hear from you. Childline is a private and confidential service, so that makes it a safe place for you to talk.

Take care, bye for now,


Pat

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