Alex's Answer

My mum tried to help, but made things worse

Your Question

My mum told my school about my sh & panic attacks. I know she wanted what’s best but I’m can’t get over that she didn’t tell me. I’m absolutely furious with her. Mainly because my teacher came up to me in front of loads of people in my year and started talking about it with me. I’m so angry. What should I do?? 


Hi there,
Thanks for getting in touch with Alex. We can understand how angry and frustrated you must be feeling. It sounds like you are feeling hurt and angry that your Mum has spoken to your school without telling you or discussing it with you first. You might be experiencing conflicting feelings; on the one hand, your Mum may have spoken to the school as she cares about you and felt she was doing the right thing. On the other hand, you are feeling angry as others in the school now know personal information about you, which is understandable. You don’t say whether you have spoken to your Mum yet.
If you feel you can, you could try the following steps:
1. Talk to your Mum about how upset you are and what happened in school as a result of her telling the school about your panic attacks.
2. Try to remain as calm as possible so you can explain your feelings. Pick a quiet time when you won’t have any other interruptions.
3. Give your Mum the chance to explain why she went to the school.
4. Consider whether there’s anything that could repair the situation. Maybe you can agree on an approach with your school that’s helpful to you all.
5. Remember that it doesn’t have to be fixed straight away. It’s okay to sit with your emotions for a while. It’s okay to be angry. What’s important is having open communication with your Mum.
If you want to talk further about what’s going on for you, you can access Childline through Live Chat at, or by free phone at 1800 66 66 66 to talk some more. The Childline team is here to listen 24 hours a day, every day throughout the year. Our services are completely free, confidential, and non-judgmental.
All the best,

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