Alex's Answer

My mum hates my dad

Your Question

My mum calls my dad all sorts of names what to do? My mum HATES my dad she calls him selfish and abusive and if I don’t do well in homework she tells me that bad grades is like holding up a neon sign saying MY DAD LEFT ME she also calls me names like spoilt brat moron f***ing stupid it’s not just grades she can say stuff about anything like “acting like a lesbian” even tho I think I am a lesbt it feels like I’m stepping on eggshells not sure what will set her off what do I do?

Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you for contacting us. We understand that it’s not always easy to share our thoughts and worries, but we also know how important it is to talk about how we are feeling. You have taken great courage in reaching out, and you have the right to get help and support.   

You are saying that your mum calls your dad and you all sorts of names and you feel like you are walking on eggshells and not sure what will set her off. We are sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. It is understandable that you feel as if you do not know what to do. 

Talking about our problems can be useful as it can help us feel heard and listened to and can help us to figure out how we can deal with what is going on for us. Do you have a trusted adult such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle or any adult that you feel comfortable talking to in your life? Maybe talking to you dad could work for you either. 

We would be concerned about you as you said that your mum calls you horrible names and you are not sure what sets her off. Living on eggshells is not good for our mental health. You have been really brave getting in touch with us, and we feel that you have taken a big step in helping your mental wellbeing. Here are some organisations that might be of support to you:  www.jigsaw.ie;www.yourmentalhealth.ie;www.spunout.ie . These are just some of the websites that may help you understand what is going on for you or can offer direction in how to avail of other supports. The Childline website has some information too which you may like to look at www.childline.ie/how-i-feel/ and www.childline.ie/home-and-families/ 

If you are ever feeling unsafe at home, or anywhere else, you have the right to call the emergency services at 999 or 112.  Túsla is the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. The social workers within Túsla are there for young people under the age of 18 years, and their job is to make sure that children and young people are safe at home. You can find your local Tulsa office here www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/local-area-offices/  if you would like to get in touch with them or to get some information. You may need the support of an adult to help you with this.  

Remember, you can always phone Childline on 1800 66 66 66 to talk about what is going on, if you don’t feel ready to talk to someone in your life just yet. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our web chat service through www.childline.ie is also available 24/7. While we will not tell you what to do, we are here to listen to and support you, and we will help you to explore the options that are available to you in.  

Take care, we hope to hear from you soon. 

Alex 

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