Alex's Answer

Hi there, you are very welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you for contacting us. We understand that it’s not always easy to share how we’re feeling, but we also know how important it is to talk about our worries.  

You have shared with us that your dad keeps shouting at you, asking you if you have a problem with him, calling you curse words and accusing you of trying to start fights. This must be very hard for you, as no one likes to be shouted at; we all want and deserve to be treated with respect.  

For some of us, it is difficult to remain calm when in a heightened emotional state or stressful situation, and at times people may react by raising their voice. It depends on what is going on for the individual at that time, but no one deserves to be at the receiving end of it, especially if they have done nothing wrong. Sometimes there can be tension or arguments in a family but it’s important to know that nobody has the right to make you feel upset, no matter who they are. You have the right to feel safe in your home, and if you ever feel unsafe or at risk, it’s important that you reach out to someone who can help you.  

Have you ever shared with your dad how much it upsets you when he shouts and curses at you? It might help you both to have a chat about the challenges and frustrations in your relationship.  This would work best at a time when everyone is calm and relaxed and open to listening. Are there any other family members that you would feel comfortable talking to about how your dad is making you feel? You have the right to get help and support with how you’re feeling and what’s happening with your dad, and sometimes talking about it with someone you trust can provide you with the support you need. Here is an article from the Childline website about living with a parent who has anger issues: www.childline.ie/how-to-live-with-a-parent-who-has-anger-issues/ ; and another about managing family relationships: www.childline.ie/how-to-manage-family-relationships/ . There are other articles there too, that you may find helpful. 

If you feel that you are not ready yet to talk to someone you know, you are very welcome to chat with the Childline Team by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline services are free and confidential, and are available 24 hours, 7 days a week.    

Thank you for reaching out to us.   

Take care of yourself.   

Alex