Pat's Answer

My dad touched my butt, should I be worried

Your Question

Hi, im 14 years old and yesterday i as playing around with my dad and he usually just squeezes my shoulder or something but when i was sitting next to him he grabbed my upper hip/thigh/butt hes never done this before in my life so i dont think this is anything to worry about maybe it was an accident but i just wanted to make sure… 

Answer

Hello, welcome to Ask Pat.  

Thank you so much for trusting us with what is going on for you. We know it can be difficult, but we also know how great it is for young people to share their problems. Talking about and sharing what is going on for you is a big step forward.

You say while sitting next to your dad he grabbed your hip/thigh/butt. You are not sure if it is anything to worry about and you think maybe it was an accident, but you just want to make sure. 

It is understandable that your dad made you feel uncomfortable when he touched you. It is understandable that you are confused by what your dad did. Your dad or anybody else, does not have the right to touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable in any way or makes you question if the touch is ok. How would you feel about telling him that you found this uncomfortable? Is it possible to talk to your mum about your feelings around what happened?  

If you ever feel unsafe or in danger at any time in your home or anywhere else, you can contact the emergency services at 999 or 112. You have the right to be always safe.  

You are taking the right steps in reaching out and seeking help. This is such a brave thing to do. You have a right to get help and support. You have the right to be listened to and the right to be heard around what you are experiencing. Sometimes talking about what we are going through with a trusted adult can help us to make decisions. Would there be a trusted adult that you could talk to? We know that it can be hard to open up to someone who is close to us, so maybe talking to somebody outside of your family who you are comfortable talking to might work better for you at first.  

Here is some information and articles that you might also find helpful. Túsla is the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. In Túsla, there are social workers whose job it is to make sure that all people under the age of 18 are safe. You can find your local Túsla office here www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/local-area-offices/. There are some articles on the Childline website which may also help you with your question, www.childline.ie/what-is-abuse/;  www.childline.ie/getting-along-with-family/   

You do not have to go through this alone. Childline is here for you and we really would love to listen to you. At Childline we are focused on you and what is important to you. The services are free and available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. The team do not judge anything you say but will listen to everything you wish to share. You can contact us through our telephone service 1800 66 66 66, through our text service on 50101, or by web chat that you access through the website www.childline.ie.    

We hope that you find some of the above helpful. Remember you have already made a great attempt in reaching out and describing what is going on for you. If you have any more questions, please do get in touch with us, whichever way you feel most comfortable, phone, text, or web chat.    

We hope to hear from you soon. Take care of yourself,    

Pat    

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