Alex's Answer

Making friends

Your Question

How do I get friends? I’m 14, and I used to be in a friend group before secondary, but they all just drifted away from me and I don’t know what I did wrong. The few people I’ve been talking to in secondary school since I started are usually busy or just don’t want to talk to me. Everyone else in my school either doesn’t like me or I don’t like them. My mam doesn’t let me go out on my own, so I can’t get closer with the few people I talk to. I also used to think I have an online friend, but I’m not sure anymore. I don’t know if it’s just trust issues, but I always think she doesn’t really like me, and she also doesn’t reply often, usually talking to other friends who don’t like me much. It just makes me feel like I’m all by myself, and I don’t want to be like that for the rest of my life. 

Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you for getting in touch with us.  

You have been very brave in sharing how are feeling with us. We’re very sorry that you are feeling like this. It must be so difficult for you to feel like you are by yourself. 

Friendships are very important to us and from what you are saying it sounds like you are really struggling to find a positive friendship group. You mentioned that you used to think that you had an online friend but you’re not sure anymore, as you are really struggling with whether she likes you and she doesn’t reply often. It  sounds that you are going through a hard time. Is there one friend in the group that you could reach out to and properly explain what is going on for you. It sounds like your friends are important to you, but also you need to know that no one has the right to hurt you.  

You could also consider finding new activities or groups where you feel valued and included. Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals can help build your confidence and provide a positive outlet for your energy. 

Talking really helps. Is there an adult that you feel comfortable with, that you could talk to about your situation? The trusted adult could be a parent, aunt, uncle or even a teacher. When we talk to someone, between the two, often actions can be discussed through and you can feel a little better. There are some articles on the Childline website about friendships and relationships. You can find them here at  www.childline.ie/friends/  and here www.childline.ie/sexuality-and-relationships/ 

You do not have to be alone at this time, Childline is here for you, any time day or night. We never close. If you would like to have a chat about how you’re feeling, you can always contact us by clicking on the purple Messenger button on this website, or giving us a call on 1800 66 66 66. You can talk about anything you want to, and we are here to listen to whatever you would like to say. 

Take care of yourself, we hope things get better for you real soon,  

Alex 

 

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