Alex's Answer
Losing my best friend to cancer has affected my relationships with others, have you any advice?
Your Question
im terrified of cancer. my best friend died of cancer at only 15 and i dont know how to function without him even though its been a year. i hate that im slowly starting to forget him. i feel like it has affected all my relationships/friendships because im scared the people i love will get sick and die and ill be even more alone.
Answer
Hi there, and welcome to Ask Alex.
Thanks so much for reaching out with your question. We know that it can be difficult to talk about our feelings, so well done for getting in touch with us.
You have said that your best friend died of cancer, that you are worried about forgetting him and that this loss is impacting on your relationships and friendships because you fear the loss of other loved ones. The death of someone you care about is a really tough thing to experience, and it is normal to feel scared of such an illness when it has impacted your life in the way that it has done. It is also normal that you feel that this has impacted on your other relationships. It sounds like you are going through the process of grief after losing your friend. Remember, there’s no specific time period for grief and often, it’s not something you “get over” but rather something you learn to live with which can result in inner strength and resilience.
We want you to know that you’re not on your own and you don’t have to deal with this grief by yourself. Do you know that here at Childline, we firmly believe that talking makes us stronger, and it shouldn’t be seen as something to fear? Have you tried talking to a trusted adult about feeling or thinking this way? Talking to your parents, a family member, a trusted adult or even another close friend around you may help in that matter. This may also help you remember your friend; you can share a happy memory you have of him with others or watch his favourite movie or play a video game he liked.
You can also talk to your GP about resources for bereavement or you might consider asking an adult or member of staff in your school about a Rainbows group. Rainbows groups support young people through grief; there is more information here: http://www.rainbowsireland.ie/about-us/what-is-rainbows/.
If you cannot think of anyone who you could talk to or if you don’t feel comfortable bringing it up with them, know that Childline is always there for you to listen and support you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can call for free on 1800 666666 or use the Live Chat which you can find on the website: www.childline.ie .
Thanks again for getting in touch and please take care.
Alex.