Alex's Answer

I'm sick and tired of pretending

Your Question

I’m so sick and tired of pretending to be a snarky, funny, and brash person. But i just can’t stop. It’s like i’m addicted to doing this to myself. But I hate it so much. I always try to get the attention of myself, going as far as to sexualize myself and being aggressively flirtatious to people. In the end though, i’m just an empty, self centered piece of shit. I smoke the pain away and try not to cry. I don’t know what to do anymore

Answer

Hey there, thanks so much for getting in touch,
 
First off, we want to say that it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share what you’re going through. It’s not easy to admit when we’re struggling, especially when we feel like we’re trapped in a cycle of behaviour that we don’t like. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s important to remember that you deserve compassion and support.
 
Feeling like you have to put on a certain persona to fit in or get attention can be exhausting. It’s like wearing a mask every day, and over time, it can leave you feeling empty and disconnected from your true self. It sounds like you’re caught in a cycle where you’re wanting validation from others through attention-seeking behaviour, but it’s not fulfilling you in the way you hoped.
 
It’s okay to feel lost and unsure of what to do next. But know that there is help available, and you don’t have to go through this alone. Talking to a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, or counsellor, can be a great first step in finding support and guidance. There is also the Childline Team, where you can talk to someone who will listen without judgment, and help you explore your feelings and options. There is another service which supports people going through similar issues as you www.aware.ie.
 
You can contact Childline by freephone 1800 66 66 66 (Ireland only) or through Live Chat at www.childline.ie. We are a confidential service, open 24/7, and always here for you, any reason, any time.
 
Remember, you’re not defined by your actions or how others perceive you. You have the power to make changes and discover your true self. It’s a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, and there are people who want to help you get there.
 
You’re brave for reaching out, and we’re here to support you. Take care of yourself, and know that there are brighter days ahead,
 
Alex
 
 

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