I’m scared of coming out to my homophobic, overly religious parents, what should I do?
My biological parents are very homophobic and overly religious I have not come out to them yet and i’m afraid that I will be harmed or brought back to their home country which is forbidden there what should I do?
Thank you so much for getting in contact with Ask Alex with your question, you’re very welcome.
You’re saying that you haven’t come out yet to your parents as they are homophobic and very religious, and that you’re afraid you will be hurt or brought back to their home country. It sounds like a very difficult time for you right now, and you are really brave to get in contact with us to talk about it.
It must be so tough for you to feel like you can’t be who you truly are around your parents, and that you can’t share an important part of your life with them. Experiencing homophobia can be really hurtful, especially from your family and you have the right to feel comfortable and safe at home. What do you think it would be like to have a conversation about your sexuality with your parents? Sometimes people can react in different ways than we think, but it would be important that you feel safe having this conversation with them, and if you don’t think it’s the right time for that then that’s absolutely okay.
Are there any other people in your life who you trust and are supportive of you? It’s important for all of us to have people that we feel comfortable around, and who we are able to talk to about our worries. Maybe there are some friends in your life that are there for you and that you can talk to about your sexuality or perhaps you have other family members who are supportive of you. Or do you have any teachers at school that you trust to talk with about what is going on for you at the moment? It’s also really important that you look after your mental health, as experiencing homophobia can be distressing and have a big impact on you. Doing things that you enjoy, whatever they are, be it listening to music, writing, painting and/or talking with your friends can be incredibly useful for helping you feel well.
We would be really concerned to hear that you are worried about being harmed or being brought back to your parent’s home country where being LGBTI+ is not accepted. Absolutely no one has the right to hurt you in any way and certainly not because of your sexuality. If ever you feel you are in danger, you can call the emergency services on 112 or 999.
There are many LGBTI+ support services across Ireland. Perhaps you’d find the following websites and articles helpful. BeLonGTo (https://www.belongto.org/ or call 01 670 6223), LGBT Ireland (www.lgbt.ie), Spunout (www.spunout.ie; https://spunout.ie/voices/advice/lgbti-unsupportive-family-looking-after-yourself), and you can always contact us here at Childline 24/7, via the Live Chat button on our website (www.childline.ie) or by phone 1800 66 66 66. You are not alone.