Pat's Answer

I want to talk to you but I don't know where to begin, I can't express how I feel.

Your Question

I want to talk to ye but I don’t know where to begin I can’t express how I feel I’m in a very dark lonely place and I can’t find a way out. I’ve been cutting but it’s not enough anymore. I want to dial the number I had it all texted up too but didn’t send it or call. I don’t no what to say? What if I can’t say it? What if I don’t speak?

Answer

Hi there, you’re welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you for contacting us with your question, we’re glad you felt comfortable enough to express what’s been going on for you. 

From what you’re saying it seems like you’ve been having a hard time with your mental health as you say you’re in a dark and lonely place and also that you have been self-harming. Often, people self-harm as a way of trying to cope with the difficult thoughts and emotions they may be struggling with on the inside. Please know that you are not alone in this and that there are people willing to help. It sounds like you have been working up the courage to contact our Childline listening service, but you’ve been finding it difficult. It’s okay to feel that way, reaching out can be a tough thing to do. If you feel that talking on the phone is too hard, we also have a text and chat service – you can text us on 50101 or webchat with us on www.childline.ie. There’s no need to worry about knowing what to say, even it takes some time for you to feel comfortable to speak, we’re there to provide a safe, confidential, non-judgmental service that you can contact 24 hours a day. 

We’d be concerned to hear that you are feeling so low and that your mental health has caused you to self-harm as you say you’ve been cutting and that it also doesn’t feel like enough anymore. This sounds like things are becoming worse and that your mental health is something that you need support with. Here in Childline we don’t tell young people what to do, but it does sound like this situation has become unsafe for you and that it might be time to try and get support before things escalate any further. Have you considered talking to a trusted adult in your life? Talking to a trusted adult or friend might be worth considering, because often, when we express how we’re feeling to others, it can help us to feel better and to come up with ideas and solutions to improve our wellbeing. A trusted adult could be a parent, grandparent, auntie, uncle, older cousin/sibling or even the staff at your school. There are people willing to help and tapping into your social supports might be worth considering so you can keep yourself safe.  

Struggling with mental health is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, it can be a very common occurrence among all age groups. Facing mental health challenges has also become more common during the pandemic and many people are experiencing similar feelings to what you’re feeling. You’re never alone, there are many services out there that can support you at this difficult time, the following links are for services that may be helpful to you: www.jigsaw.ie; www.pieta.ie; and www.yourmentalhealth.ie. The Childline website also has information about support services and articles about self-harm that you might like to read through: https://www.childline.ie/self-harm/ 

We hope this answer helps you and hope you feel comfortable contacting us again. 

Take care, 

Alex. 

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