I'm feeling so overwhelmed
I’m getting an underwhelming academic performance in school. I’m unable to study for my school examinations and I return unfinished homework assingments to my school teachers. I’m getting a lot of deadlines and issues with my education. I’m thinking about having suicidal thoughts. I want to commit suicide. I’m not in immediate danger, but I think I’m a useless person. I’m not good at all of my school subjects such as Math, English, Irish, Science, History, Home Economics, and Geography. What do I do? Is suicide the answer to all my solutions? I think I also hate myself too.
You’re really welcome to Ask Alex today. Thank you for sharing a little bit of what’s going on for you right now, it sounds like you are going through such a lot. There are a couple of things you mention, school assignments and exams, having suicidal thoughts and feeling like you hate yourself. You are so brave to talk to us about all that today.
From what you say first about school, it sounds like there is a lot of pressure on you in that environment, with assignments, exams and study, and lots of deadlines. You mention that you’re not able to study for your exams, what do you think is contributing to you not being able to study? It can be really overwhelming thinking of all the subjects you are doing or the amount of information it seems like you need to know. Sometimes it can help to break each subject down into much smaller manageable chunks and creating a timetable for yourself. It’s also important to take breaks and have time to yourself, to rest and ensure you feel refreshed. Would there be a teacher you would feel comfortable talking to in school or a guidance counsellor? It’s their job to support you in your schoolwork, and perhaps they could suggest some ways to help you manage your workload or to give you an idea of what parts of a subject to focus on.
We would be really concerned to hear that you are having suicidal thoughts, and that you think you are useless and hate yourself. From your message to us, you sound like a really strong person who is doing their very best, but maybe you need a little extra support right now and that’s okay, we all need support to get through different things. In school, it can probably seem like if you’re not doing as well as you think you should be doing, or if you’re comparing yourself to others, that it means you’re not good enough but that’s absolutely not the case. People are strong in many different areas outside of academic subjects, and in ways that are just as valuable. Aswell as that it’s important to remember that not all subjects suit each person, and we all have different strengths and interests.
You’re saying that you want to die by suicide, but that you’re not in immediate danger. While we are glad to hear you’re not in immediate danger, we would really recommend talking to someone about the thoughts that you are having. You deserve to get help and support with how you are feeling. It can be a really tough thing to talk about, but you have taken an incredible first step today by contacting us and talking about it. Would there be someone in your life who you would feel comfortable talking with? Maybe someone that has been there for you in the past and listens to you. There are also professional support services out there for you too. Pieta House offer support for people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts, and are available 24/7. They have a text service (text ‘Help’ to 51444) or a phone line (1800 247 247). You can get more information here pieta.ie.
Please know that we at Childline are here 24/7, either via our online chat (click on the orange Live Chat button) or on the phone (1800 66 66 66), any time of the day or night to listen to you, and it’s a space for you to talk about anything that you want to.
You are really important, and you deserve to be happy and feel supported.
Take care of yourself,