Alex's Answer

I'm 14 and have not had my first kiss

Your Question

I’m 14 and have not had my first kiss, have not been hugged by a girl and when I told my crush that I had one on her she said ew and now she is dating one of my best friends and I’m meant to act like I’m okay?


Hi There and welcome to Ask Alex. 

Thanks for reaching out with your question, we know it can be a difficult thing to do. 

It sounds like you have told a girl you had a crush on her and she didn’t have a good response, and now she is dating your best friend, is that right? 

First of all, it sounds like you have been very brave – it takes lots of courage and confidence to tell someone you have a crush on them.  But it also sounds like she didn’t react in a very respectful way if she said ‘ew’. When someone is disrespectful towards our feelings, it can leave us with a lot of different emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness and feeling hurt. 

How did you feel when you found out she is now dating one of your best friends?  It sounds like it must have been a shock to you.  Have you been able to speak to your best friend to tell them how you are feeling? They might not be aware that you had a crush and may have acted differently or more respectfully if he had known. 

One way of managing our feelings is being able to talk about them. Maybe you could talk to a family member or someone you can trust. What coping strategies do you already have? Maybe it’s enjoying sports, going for a walk, or reading? You could try some of these strategies that already work for you.  

You can also contact us here at Childline if you’d like to chat a bit more. We offer a free, confidential and non-judgemental listen service and would love to chat through this some more with you. You can contact us free by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or on web chat at You can start a chat with us at any time by clicking on the Orange Live Chat button on your screen.  

Take care of yourself, 


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