Alex's Answer

Hello, 

Thank you for sharing with us. It sounds like you are struggling to come to terms with the end of a relationship and we are sorry to hear that. It can be hard to ask for help going through something like this so well done for taking the step to reach out. 

From the details you have shared, we understand that someone you love unexpectedly changed and blocked you on social media. This kind of behaviour is often referred to as ghosting. There are many reasons someone may ghost another person including fear (of the unknown, of intimacy, rejection etc), conflict avoidance, lack of accountability or consequences, self-care etc.  

Losing someone we care about can be particularly difficult to deal with when we do not have the reason for it. It may help you to find closure to reflect on this person’s personality as an individual and your relationship with them. What things were like before she blocked you? Is it normal for this person to behave this way or has she blocked other people before? Do you think it is something they are likely to undo? Did anything change in your relationship or was there anything that could have been misunderstood? Was there anything going on in either of your lives that could have caused increased stress or anxiety? 

Try not to blame yourself. The act of ghosting has more to do with the ghost then the victim. The behaviour shows a difficulty or unwillingness on her part to communicate and confront a perceived issue. It sounds like you would like to confront this person, to get answers. Is there any way you could arrange to meet her to talk things out in a respectful way so you can express your feelings and get the closure you want? If all your efforts fail refrain from trying to check her social media and do your best to look forward. Distract yourself with things that make you feel good like spending time with friends or engaging with your favourite hobbies. If there is a friend you trust, talk it out and get the support you might need. Do whatever works best to look after your mental health and work towards moving on. It might not be easy, but you will get there one step at a time. 

And remember, we are always here for you at Childline, if you would like to chat to someone confidentially. You can contact us free by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or on web chat at www.childline.ie. You can start a chat with us at any time by clicking on the Orange Live Chat button on your screen.   

Take care, 

Alex