Alex's Answer

Hi there, and welcome to Ask Alex. We’re glad you were able to reach out to us with your question. 

It sounds like you have some questions about consent, being coerced into sex when you’ve said no and whether or not that would be considered as rape. We’re not sure if this is something you have experienced or if you are just questioning things, but the importance of consent and feeling safe when engaging in any sexual activity is vital. You’ve been really brave asking about this as it is not always easy to do. It is understandable that you may have questions around this topic as it can be confusing when you or someone you know finds themselves in a situation that may be rape. 

Sexual activity without consent, is rape. Regardless of whether you have consumed alcohol and regardless of all other circumstances, rape is never the victims’ fault, the responsibility lies solely with the perpetrator. You have a right to know that in Ireland, the legal age to give consent is 17. This means that when you are under 17, you cannot give consent. If a young person is over 17, they still have the right to choose when and to who, they give their consent. Nobody has the right to touch you or engage in sexual activity with you when you are uncomfortable with it. Our Childline website has an article on consent which you might find helpful: www.childline.ie/consent/. You have the right to talk to a trusted adult about this. A trusted adult could be a parent, teacher, grandparent, auntie or uncle, guidance counsellor or your GP. The adults in your life have a responsibility to support you and listen to you. You never have to be alone in difficult or frightening times. 

If you have been in a situation where you were raped, you have the right to report this to the Gardaí and/or visit your nearest Rape Crisis Clinic/Sexual Assault Treatment Unit which you can find here: www.rapecrisishelp.ie/. It is important that you do this as soon as you can, even if you feel embarrassed or afraid, which is completely understandable. You may also need to get medical support, particularly in situations where you had unprotected sex or if the rape did not involve the use of protection.  

If you feel you’d like to talk to someone outside your social circle you can always contact our Childline listening services. You can freephone us at 1800 66 66 66, text us at 50101 or chat with us online through www.childline.ie. All of our services are free, confidential and non-judgemental and we don’t tell you what to do. We give young people a safe space to talk through their thoughts and feelings and these services are available 24 hours a day, every day.  

We hope you find this article helpful and that you get the support you might be looking for. Feel free to get back in touch anytime you need to talk. 

Take care, 

Alex.