Alex's Answer

I miss my best friend even though she was mean to me

Your Question

On April 1st 2021 I lost my best friend because she didn’t like me and always talked about sad things that made my mental health extremely bad. How come a year later, I still miss her when she hurt me so much, more than anyone ever? 

Answer

Hello, you’re welcome to Ask Alex. 

You’ve told us that you are missing your friend a year on after you lost her. It is completely normal to miss your friend and it shows you care and value friendships. Sometimes when a friendship ends, we can stay feeling hurt for a while. It can take a lot of time to get over losing important people in our lives and also to forgive them. 

Now that some time has passed maybe you can assess if it is a good time to talk with your friend about the you experienced. Perhaps you can let her know that you think she doesn’t like you and also how it feels when she talks about sad things and the effects it has on your mental health. Have you discussed this situation with an adult that you trust? Maybe you can explore with this trusted adult why you thought she didn’t like you and they may provide you with some guidance around friendships in general and maintaining good mental health practices.  

If the suggestions above don’t appeal to you, perhaps the following articles on the Childline website might be useful to you: https://www.childline.ie/how-to-get-past-a-fight-with-your-best-friend/; https://www.childline.ie/how-to-know-when-to-break-up-with-a-friend/ and https://www.childline.ie/how-to-know-when-youre-in-a-toxic-friendship-group/ as they discuss how friendships change, how to know if your friendship is harmful to your wellbeing and also how to make up after a disagreement. Whatever you decide to do, we hope you feel better having spoken about your feelings around this friendship.  

Thanks for getting in touch with us today and if you ever want to Ask Alex anything, please just leave a message. We are here to listen to you and offer you information and support.  

If your question is urgent, or you would like to talk privately, you can contact Childline for free by calling 1800 66 66 66, chatting online via our webchat on www.childline.ie or by texting 50101. We are available 24 hours a day, every day. 

Take care,  

Alex.  

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