Alex's Answer

I identify as gender queer

Your Question

I am 16 and I was born male, I identify as gender queer and use they them pronouns. Im only just getting used to being me and exploring my self and my self identity. I started dressing as a femboy and in skirts and wearing girls knickers. I’ve noticed that being myself has helped accomplish this but I’m now wondering if I’m actually trans


Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex. 

We understand that it can be difficult to talk about what’s going on for you, so thanks for reaching out. 

You say that you identify as gender queer, but as you have recently started dressing as a femboy, you are wondering if you are trans, does that sound right? 

Teenage years are times of change, when we start to explore who we are and how to identify which develops over time. Exploration and experimentation are normal and common and it is important for you to know that you don’t have to have all the answers about this right now! 

You said that you noticed being yourself has helped to explore how you feel dressing as a femboy.  This sounds like you are happy and comfortable being yourself, which is such a good strength to have.  Sometimes young people can find it difficult to express themselves. 

What or who has helped you before when you started to identify as gender queer?  Sometimes talking to people, we trust, such as parents, friends or a youth worker, can be really helpful and supportive.  

There are some useful articles on the Childline website ( which covers topics on gender and identity.  There are also some other specific organisations such as BeLongto ( and The Transgender Equality Network Ireland ( who offer support via telephone, text or email. They have lots of advice and support on their website. 

You can always reach out and chat to us at Childline by phone (1800 66 66 66) or webchat at (click on the orange Live Chat tab).  Childline offers a free, non-judgemental listening service, available 24hours a day , 365 days a year and we are happy to chat about whatever is going on for you.  We hope you have found this helpful, and we look forward to chatting to you, 

Take care of yourself and get in touch with us soon if you would like to talk. 


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