Pat's Answer

I have a crush on a girl in my school, I'm too shy to talk to her

Your Question

I have a crush on a girl in my school I’m too shy to talk to her i can only say hello before I go quite.. I feel like theirs butterflies in my stomach is this normal


Hi there, you’re welcome to Ask Pat.

Thank you for writing to us about what is going on for you at the moment. Talking about your experiences and feelings can be challenging at times but it can be a real relief to get things off your chest.

You’ve said you have a crush on a girl at school and that you are too shy to talk to her and after saying hello, you go quiet. You also mentioned having butterflies in your stomach and you asked if this is normal.

Having a crush can be tough, you are dealing with so many emotions and feelings. You may feel excited to see your crush but nervous about talking to her. You may feel hopeful that she likes you too or worry about her not feeling the same way about you. It’s often this mixture of emotion that causes the “butterflies in your stomach” feeling.

It’s understandable that you get shy and quiet around your crush and it’s important that you move at your own pace. It might be helpful to practice what you’d like to talk to her about beforehand. We often enjoy talking about our hobbies, perhaps you could ask her about those or maybe you share a class, and you could use that as a conversation starter. Being friendly and smiling is a good way to start a conversation!

There are some articles you might find helpful about starting conversations: and about relationships:

Have you considered talking to a trusted adult about how you are feeling? This could be an older sibling, aunt or uncle or a counsellor at school. They might be able to help you make sense of your emotions with regards to your crush. Alternatively, if you’d prefer to chat with someone you don’t know about this, why not get in touch with Childline? You could give us a call on 1800 66 66 66 or try texting us at  50101 or you could even have a web chat through The services are free and confidential and are available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

It was great to hear from you and please know that you can contact us at any time about anything.   

Take care,



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