Alex's Answer
I hate my family and I don’t want life
Your Question
This isn’t a question but a rant. I know this shouldn’t happen. No person should go through the hell i go through. My mum whipped me with a phone charger after she would listen to me she called me insane and mad and all other words. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I . HATE. HER. There’s so much i want to say or do but can’t. I have nobody. How am i suppose to have faith in God when people like her existed. Just because she doesn’t want to listen nobody wants to listen. My dad just ignores me. I hate them. Why can’t i just die they make me feel like a piece of shit. They make ne hate myself more than i already do. There’s no hope. I will die. I don’t want saving. I don’t want life. I don’t want to be taking away from my home but i don’t want to live in this home i can’t call home because i don’t feel safe anymore. Life will be better once i die because i don’t believe there is any worse pain than the one i’m forced to live in. Quick and easy that’s how i will go. Nobody will care that i will be gone because nobody believes or loves me. There’s no saving me. I won’t regret my decision. I’ll finally be at peace. I hate everybody. I Hate myself. Goodbye.
Answer
Welcome to Ask Alex.
Thank you for getting in touch with our service and trusting us enough to express what’s been going on for you. From what you’re saying, it seems like you’ve been having a tough time with your family relationships and you’re also having thoughts and feelings about wanting to die. It must be really difficult for you, having this on your mind and feeling as though no one listens to you or cares for you. Please know you’re not alone – we are here to listen and we care.
We are concerned to hear that this has been going on for you as it sounds like you may need some support around mental health and wellbeing. You have said that you do not want saving and it is absolutely your decision whether to reach out for help or not, but we just want to make you aware that there are options out there should you choose to explore them. You have the right to feel safe and happy in your life and your home, you also have the right to seek support and care for your health and wellbeing. The following websites www.pietahouse.ie ; www.jigsaw.ie ; www.yourmentalhealth.ie are for organisations specifically designed to help young people who are struggling with their wellness and may be of interest to you.
With regard to your home life, it does seem like there may be some concerns around your safety and possible physical abuse in your home. No one has the right to hurt you and you have the right to seek support from the Gardai or Tusla Child and Family services. Tusla can be contacted via this website: https://www.tusla.ie/. If you feel you are a risk to your own safety or in any danger from others at any time, you also have the right to contact a GP, the emergency services by calling 112 or 999 at no charge or you could present yourself at your closest A&E department.
Have you considered talking to a friend, family member or a teacher you trust? For a lot of people, talking to someone can help things seem more manageable. If opening up to someone in your life is not an option, maybe you could call Childline on 1800 66 66 66, contact us by text on 50101, or through our webchat at https://www.childline.ie/. The Childline team is there to listen 24 hours a day, every day. Our services are free, confidential, and non-judgemental.
Thank you again for getting in touch and please know that you are not in this alone, the services we mentioned above are always there if you need support or just feel you want to chat to someone about anything that’s going on for you. We hope you find this answer to be of some comfort and support to you in this difficult time.
Take care,
Alex.