Pat's Answer

To Pat / 3 October 2020

I hate being called a girl

Your Question

Since I was little, I hated being called a “girl.” The name always seemed too annoying in my eyes, and I never once liked the colour pink. Once I got older, and more confused, I realised that there was a huge chance that I could be non-binary. I’m not a female, and I’m not a male. I’m just whoever I want to be. Yeah, I understand that. But I don’t think my friends and family will. I don’t know how to tell them, and it really bothers me

From Pat / 22 October 2020


Hi, you are welcome to Ask Pat, 

You are saying that you have processed a lot in the past while, about your sexuality and have come to the conclusion that you are non-binary. You sound very confident in this role.  I am understanding that you haven’t discussed this with your family and friends yet, and their relationships with you are very important to you. 

The term coming out to family and friends is a huge process and the fact that you are very comfortable in being you, is a brilliant foundation to start from. It doesn’t take away from the fact that you need support from them and you are very conscious to the fact that they also might need support in coming to terms with your gender identity. 

Your experience is going to be unique for you, this is your journey and it is important for you know, that you are not alone on this journey. You have the right to be whoever you choose. There are support services out there for people like you, and from what you are saying you have processed a lot on your own and you are confident in yourself to want to let those closest to you know who you are. 

There is an organization called BeLongTo which may be of assistance to you, This organization supports the LGBTI+ community and maybe linking in with them might be a good starting point for you. is another service where you may find help from others who have traveled a similar journey to yours.

If you have browsed the Childline website, you may find the section on Sexual and Gender Identity of benefit to you. There is a video to which you can listen to another young person’s experience of their road to their sexual identity. 

If you would like to contact us at Childline, we will listen to you talk about your feelings and emotions, about your concerns around coming out to your family and friends, or whatever you would like to talk to us about. Childline will offer you support twenty-four hours a day, every day. The service does not judge you; nor will we tell you what to do, but we can help you look at options that may be available to you. The service is accessible to you in multiple of ways, by telephone at 1800 66 66 66, or by text at 50101 and we have live web chat which you can access through the website as well. 

Please stay in contact with us. You are on a very brave and exciting journey for you, and Childline will be here to listen and support you all the way. 

Stay safe,


Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.