Alex's Answer
I feel so fake
Your Question
I feel so fake, like I’m wearing a mask. The mask is the happy me everyone sees but when I’m at home I’ve taken off the mask. Sometimes I’ll wear the mask at home when I’m with my mum. I don’t know how to make the mask my life. I know I have family issues but I don’t know why I can’t just be happy.
Answer
Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.
You explained you feel fake, as if you were wearing a mask, a happy mask, but that you don’t really feel happy. You also mentioned it has to do with some family issues, and you ask yourself why can’t you be happy.
It must have been really difficult for you to step forward and tell us how you feel. You seem to be struggling quite a bit. You didn’t mention what is going on in your family life, but it must be important enough to be worried about it.
The mask you are talking about it makes sense, sometimes it feels easier not to talk about what we are worried about. There could be different reasons behind the use of it, such as uncomfortableness with expressing your feelings or not wishing to put a burden on anyone else. And as much as it could have helped for a while to wear it, eventually it won’t serve its purpose anymore. Locking our feelings inside won’t make them disappear, but talking about them with someone we trust, could make the load lighter.
We can understand how tough it can be to share with someone that you are not doing so well lately. With the use of social media in our every day’s life, we tend to believe everyone around us is having the greatest of times and that they are happy 24/7 -which is absolutely not true, by the way! And so we feel the pressure of having to be happy and resent the rest of feelings for being there. The truth is all emotions have a purpose, and they should all be listened to. It is okay to not be okay.
Here are some articles they may also help you: www.childline.ie/3-reasons-why-you-might-be-feeling-down/ ; www.childline.ie/stop-beating-yourself-up-why-we-all-need-more-self-compassion/ ; www.childline.ie/top-tips-for-mental-wellbeing/ .
We wonder if you would feel comfortable talking to someone close to you about your worries. It could be a friend first, it is makes it easier, or an adult you trust. If you weren’t ready for that yet, you could always call Childline to talk about it. It is free to call 1800 66 66 66, or if you don’t feel like calling, there is also the option of the live chat in their website www.childline.ie . You can start a chat by clicking on the Orange Tab on the right hand side of your screen.
We hope this helps!
Take care of yourself,
Alex