I feel like I am a burden
Hi Pat, I feel like I’m a burden on my family and fear that people hate me. It has gotten so bad I can’t leave home(I homeschool). I feel like I can’t trust anyone or accept criticism or praise. I worry for the future that I won’t have anyone and will be alone. If I try to talk to my family they just think I’m overreacting or looking for attention. I feel a lot of pressure to be ‘perfect’. Since first year(I’m now in 5th year) this has been happening. It has gotten worse and now I can hardly face my parents.
Thank you so much for having the confidence in coming here and sharing all that is going on for you.
What I am hearing is you feel you are a burden on your family and that people hate you. You are worried that you feel you cannot trust anyone, and when you are criticized or praised you cannot accept what is said. You are so mindful of all these feelings, you are worried about what the future will look for you because at the moment you are also feeling the pressure of being perfect and that you can’t face your parents. This has been going on for many years.
Well done in trusting this service with everything you have told us. Hopefully writing it down and asking it here, has already helped, even a little bit. Talking about and sharing your problems really does help. Listening to you, you have mentioned that you can hardly face your parents. That would concern us, as you have the right to be supported by the adults in your life. Is there one parent that you feel, at a right time, you could explain how you are feeling to? If not a parent, do you have another trusted adult that you could chat to, someone that you feel comfortable talking to. You mention homeschooling, do you engage with a tutor, maybe they could be the person you can share how you are really feeling with.
We know it can be difficult when you feel you cannot trust anybody, but you have the right to be listened to, you have the right to be heard and supported. Your feelings of being a burden on your family, seem to be weighing hugely on you. Sometimes, we may need the help of a medical professional, like a doctor or a counsellor, and you have the right to access these people too. If you have a look at the following websites they may be able to offer you some comfort www.yourmentalhealth.ie; www.jigsaw.ie There are also some articles on the Childline website which you may find helpful www.//howifeel/childline.ie
We here at Childline have services that are available to you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. What is great about the service, is that you can access it in multiple ways. We have a telephone service 1800 66 66 66, a text service 50101 and there is also the web chat service available through our website www.childline.ie. We would love to hear from you. Each of the services are free, we do not tell you what to do, but we will listen to you and chat through some options with you. Your privacy and safety are important to us, so we do not trace numbers or IP addresses. Your call will treated with the utmost respect and regard to you.
Thank you for taking such a big leap of trust in sharing all that you are feeling. We hope that some of the information here helps a little. Remember, talking really helps and we hope to hear from you soon.
Mind yourself and be safe,