To Pat / 24 July 2020
Right now I feel like crap
Right now I feel like crap. I am told by my parents that my behaviour is terrible, that I am a nasty person and that I am selfish. I feel attacked and not safe where I am. I want to run away and feel very suicidal. I hate myself and right now I have no support because all my friends live far away and no one else will listen to me. My phone and my iPad have both been taking away so I cannot speak to anyone about this. I had to steal my mum’s computer to send this to you. I want to be able to get along with my family but I find it hard to deal with discipline and I tend to argue back a lot. I do normal things and I do obey but sometimes I’m picked up on ramdom things that I don’t feel are bad. I’ m also called a monster and I really need to talk to someone anonymous about this furtherly. Can you give me advice on this and help me understand why I feel this way and will I get through this rough time in my life?
From Pat / 11 August 2020
Hi you are very welcome to Ask Pat.
From what you are saying, you are going through a tough time with your family and indeed with your own feelings. There is lots in your message that we would love to go through with you. The fact that you are feeling attacked, not safe and very suicidal would be a concern for us. You have the right to feel safe in your home and you have the right to access supports to help you through rough times.
You mention that your parents have told you that your behavior is terrible and also that you want to be able to get on with your family. It seems that you care a lot about your family and would like support and guidance on how you can all get along better. You say you would prefer talking anonymously, but have you thought about talking to any extended family members like an aunt, uncle, grandparent or indeed another trusted adult that knows you and your family well? You appear to be very open to asking for help by contacting us and wanting to talk. That is a great starting point for you.
There are websites that may be able to help you understand things a little better, including www.yourmentalhealth.ie and www.pieta.ie. Both of these organisations help people who are feeling the way that you are right now. On the Childline website you may like to read an article on getting along with family www.childline.ie/getting-along-with-family/. There are other articles also in the Advice and Info section that may be of some help to you, www.childline.ie/how-i-feel/ among others.
At Childline we would really enjoy chatting to you more about what you have said in your question above. Childline is a listening service open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is always somebody here to chat with you. We do not judge anything that you say or do. You can reach us by phone at 1800 66 66 66 or text on 50101 and you can access our web chat through the website at www.childline.ie. Your chat with Childline is confidential, unless you decide to give us identifying details about yourself. We do not trace calls or use phone or IP ID. Childline will not tell you what to do, but will go through options that are available to you.
You are very courageous in asking for help and I hope the information that you have received will be off some benefit to you.
Please get in touch,