Alex's Answer

I feel I'm a burden to my parents

Your Question

Hi Alex, I’m a Neurodivergent person and I feel like a burden to my parents. I try to communicate with my parents and have tried to have a mother daughter relationship with my mum but we always seem to come to a point where we just argue. Tonight when I was trying to explain to my dad why I thought my ADHD medication wasn’t being administered in full he got frustrated and started yelling at me which caused me to cry and him to scream. I don’t deal with yelling and scremaing well due to past trauma and overstimulation, so I broke down. Normally he consoles me however he looked me in the eyes and told me to go away, which made me feel on the outside and shut out. My mum came to me and at first i thought she was going to comfort me but she told me that it was all my fault and I want to know if it was really all my fault and if i am really a burden to my parents? Thank you for taking time to read my question, it means a lot.

Answer

Hi there, welcome to Ask Alex,
 
It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and dealing with family dynamics can be really challenging, especially when you’re Neurodivergent. Firstly, it’s important to understand that your struggles are not your fault. Mental health and neurodivergence come with their own set of unique challenges, and it’s okay to want understanding and support.
 
It’s unfortunate that your attempts to communicate with your parents have led to arguments. Sometimes, misunderstandings can arise due to a lack of awareness or knowledge about Neurodivergent experiences. Your well-being matters, and it’s important to express your needs and feelings. It might be helpful to find a calm moment to discuss with your parents, explaining how their reactions impact you emotionally.
 
Remember, you’re not alone in this. Many teens face similar struggles, and reaching out for support can make a significant difference. Whether it’s talking to friends, asking for advice from a counsellor, or connecting with Neurodivergent communities, building a support network can provide understanding and empathy. Have you had a chance to look at the Neurodivergent website, it may be able to offer some clarity and support for you and your parents neurodiversityireland.com/what-is-neurodiversity/.
 
It’s so important to prioritise your mental health. If you’re comfortable, consider sharing your concerns with a trusted adult, teacher, or school counsellor who may offer guidance or connect you with resources. You deserve to feel heard, valued, and supported. You’re not a burden – you’re a unique individual on a complex journey, and there are people who care about you and want to help you thrive.
 

If you would like to reach out and talk to us some more, our Childline Team are here to help and support you too. We do not judge, and we can explore your options with you. You can contact us any time of the day or night, the Childline Listening service never closes, we are here for you 24/7/365. Our free-phone number is 1800 66 66 66 or you can use Live Chat on our website childline.ie.

 

Take care of yourself and know you do not have to go through this tough time alone. We are here for you,

Alex

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