Alex's Answer

I don't want to, but I keep doing it

Your Question

sometimes i dont want to live. it gets really serious to the point where i hurt myself. but i’m too scared to actually kms. (tw incoming) sometimes i cut my wrists. i dont want to but i keep doing it and i keep going back to it. i’ve thought of leaving the house, too, but i’m scared. that someone might find me and then i’ll be in even worse trouble. yolo right lol (im scared of talking to my father even in a casual setting where other people are around) 


Hi there, 
You’re very welcome to Ask Alex; thank you for getting in touch with us. 
It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. You sometimes feel you want to die and that you are cutting your wrists. We would be really worried to hear all of this; you have been very brave to reach out to us. You have the right to support and to live a safe, happy life. 
It can be hard to know how to cope when dealing with something difficult, and it sounds like you have used self-harm as a way of releasing how you are feeling. Can we ask what thoughts are going on for you before you self-harm? Everyone has different ways of coping with overwhelming thoughts, and you will know best what works for you. This could be things like going for a walk, doing some breathing exercises, or listening to music. What do you think it would be like to do something like that when you feel like hurting yourself? 
Sometimes we can feel sad or hopeless; these can be brief thoughts, or they can remain and stay with us, becoming overwhelming and leaving us feeling like we don’t want to go on living. It is so important that at times like this, you try and reach out to someone and get the help you need; we know this isn’t always an easy thing to do. It is so important that you get any help you need. You have said you’re scared to talk to your Dad in general, and we are wondering if there is anyone else in your life that you trust and feel comfortable talking to? You may find this article from the Childline website helpful around talking to someone about what’s going on for you:
We know it might be difficult to talk to people in your own life, so there are also support organizations out there who can help you. Pieta House is there 24/7 at 1800 247 247 any time of the day or night to talk, or text HELP to 51444. 
It’s important to remember, you have the right to live, to be happy and safe; you also have the right to help and support. If you are thinking of acting on your thoughts of suicide, it is important to get medical help immediately, whether it’s your GP, calling 999 or 112, or going to your nearest A&E department. 
You have been so brave to get in contact with us today and let us know what life is like for you right now. Please know you can contact us here at Childline at any time of the day or night, on Live Chat at or over the phone at 1800 66 66 66. We are here 24/7/365, we never close. Our team of people are trained to give you unconditional, anonymous and non-judgmental, emotional support.
Look after yourself, and know that you don’t have to go through anything on your own. There are people who care and want to support you.

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