Alex's Answer

I don't feel comfortable doing things around people

Your Question

Is it normal to not want to do anything in front of your parent when they’re mad? My dad was complaining about how many dishes needed to be washed and I was hungry so I decided I’d cook a hotdog (Im 10-13 and I’m an awesome chef) but I decided to wait until my dad went to his room because he was mad. I felt guilty even though it wasn’t my fault. Even though all he was doing was complaining. I guess whenever someone says anything in a harsh voice I get a little nervous or sensitive because my mom was abusive (when I lives with her my dad and I ran away from her when I was 8. Dont worry, he has full custody of me so we’re fine legally.) And she’d call me names, threaten to send me to a mental hospital, and she’d pour hot sauce (and sometimes soap) in my mouth if I even disagreed with her. But yeah is it normal to not want to do anything in front of my dad when he’s upset? (Or anyone for that matter. I won’t clean if someone’s watching me.) So yeah. Thanks for listening

Answer

Hello there, thanks for reaching out to us,
 
You are wondering if it is normal to not want to do things around your dad when he is upset.
 
It’s completely understandable that you feel uneasy when someone, especially your dad, is upset. Your reaction might be influenced by the challenging experiences you had with your mom. It’s important to know that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be sensitive given your past.
 
It’s not uncommon for people to feel anxious or hesitant around others when they’re upset, and it’s not a reflection of anything you’ve done wrong. Your awareness of this shows strength and self-awareness. Maybe consider having a calm conversation with your dad about your feelings, helping him understand that it’s not about him, but more about your past experiences. Choose a time when he is not upset, and there are likely to be no interruptions. You may find this article helpful www.childline.ie/reconnecting-with-your-parents-or-siblings-after-a-fight/.
 
Remember, you’re not alone, and there are people willing to support you. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or even professionals who can help you with your emotions emotions. It’s important to create a safe space where you feel comfortable expressing yourself.
 
If you ever need someone to talk to, the Childline team is here for you 24/7. You can contact us at 1800 66 66 66 or through Live Chat at www.Childline.ie. We can provide support and explore options with you. You’re not alone in this journey, and there are people who care about your well-being.
 
Look after yourself,
Alex

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