Alex's Answer

I am worried sick about what might happen

Your Question

I need advice I was sitting on a bus going to the city today and a girl go on and sat in the chairs like facing me at the back she was with a friend I’m 15 and these girls must have been about 12 they were both wearing dresses and as I look forward I accidentally saw straight up their dresses and saw their underwear I’m a boy so I’m now worried in case they thought I was trying to look but I wasn’t and I worried what they may have told their family or friends I’m just worrying sick

Answer

Hi welcome to Ask Alex, 

Thanks for putting out your thoughts and fears, it is always positive to find ways to discuss our worries. Putting the question out is the first and most important step. 

You have spoken about being afraid that two young girls thought you may have been looking up their dresses, but you say you weren’t. You have also highlighted that you are worried what they may have told their family and friends. We can see how this would play on your mind, and it shows a great character that you are conscious of what happened and are worried. The way in which the bus layout is, can be difficult in situations where those seats facing the back are a little higher sometimes than the back seat itself, making a situation like you have said above very common. In public situations like this it can be hard to know where to look or what to do as you are surrounded by strangers. Did the girls say anything to you? If they didn’t, you have got to stop beating yourself up and assuming they thought this or that as you do not know, you will continue to go around in circles with it, which will lead to more needless stress for you. For future trips if and where possible it might be better to get into the two seaters where no one is facing you, if this would eliminate and further worries for you. 

It can sometimes help to speak it out in person, either with a parent or other trusted adult that you feel comfortable talking to. Hearing it out and running through it with someone else could help show you that what happened was ok and help reduce that worry you are carrying.  

If you don’t feel you are ready to talk with someone in your life, please know that you can contact Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66, or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline is here for you anytime and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is a free and confidential service. We are non-judgemental, and we will not tell you what to do instead we can help you explore what options may be available to you.    

We hope that this information has been of some help to you. 

Thanks for reaching out, look after yourself, 

Alex 

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