I am tired, I don't see any hope in the future
I am tired and have no hope. I don’t see anything in future and I don’t have any dream. I don’t like anything any more and don’t feel anything but the heavy load on my chest. The worst part is I wanna kill my self but I don’t have the courage:) how can I die? Is there any way? Can anyone help me and kill me? Can I hire someone to kill me?
Hello and welcome to Ask Alex,
We are glad you were able to reach out to us with your question today, it is a brave and positive step to talk to someone if you are feeling unsure about something in your life or are having a hard time.
From what you are saying, it sounds like you have been having a hard time with difficult thoughts around suicide and are feeling like you cannot see any positives in the future. We would be very concerned to hear that this is going on for you, as you have a right to feel safe and to get the support to need so that you no longer feel that you have a heavy load on your chest. By reaching out to talk about the struggle you have been having, maybe this suggests that you are ready to look for some help and support in order to overcome these thoughts and feelings of suicide. It also sounds like you have lost your passion and interests due to feeling so low and it is understandable that this must be tough.
Have you considered the idea of talking to a trusted adult or a friend? Of course the idea of sharing this with someone in your life may be scary, but often when we share our troubles, it may help us to gain clarity on a situation and identify a potential solution. If you feel that talking to someone in your life is not an option for you, please know that you are not alone. It is important to remember that you are never alone, as there is support here for you 24 hours a day and 7 days a week from Childline, anytime you need to talk. You can contact us through our freephone service by calling 1800 66 66 66 or by web chat that you access through the website www.childline.ie (just click on the Orange Live Chat tab to start your chat)
Along with this, there are specialist supports for people experiencing suicidal ideation. Pieta house are a charity dedicated to helping people struggling with thoughts of suicide, they have a 24 hour support service by phone 1800 247 247 or text 51444 and their website is www.pieta.ie/. In your question you mention that you have many questions around the idea of your death, maybe this could be something you could discuss further with a support service in order to help you feel supported going forward. Also, please know that you have the right to go to your GP or to A&E for immediate medical help should you feel that you are a threat to your own safety.
We hope that this answer is of some help to you and that you find the support you need to keep yourself safe and well. Please feel free to reach out to our services again. There will always be somebody here waiting to listen to you.
Take care of yourself,