Alex's Answer

How do I tell my mom I’m self-harming?

Your Question

Hi Alex, i have been self harming, and im realy stuggling. i wanna tell my mum, but im so scared. my mum thinks that people who do that are looking for attention and are just ungrate full. im realy struggiling. and i just dont knwo what to do. 


Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.  

We know that it can be a difficult thing to reach out and talk about what’s going on for you, but we know that this can be a helpful thing for young people, so thank you for getting in touch and well done for taking the first step.   

We are sorry to hear that you are struggling. It is important to know that you are not alone.  You have a right to get help and support. You say you want to tell your mum that you are self-harming, but you are scared that your mum would think you are looking for attention or that you are ungrateful. That sounds hard and lonely especially if you do not feel comfortable opening up due to this.  

Self-harm is a psychological response that some people use as a way of coping with the difficulties that they are experiencing in their lives.  

Maybe it might be possible to choose a good time to talk to your mum? You could let her know that there is something that you would like to speak about in private and that you understand it may be a difficult conversation.  

This would give you a chance to say things that you would like her to hear and explain that you want some help and support with what you’re going through, and it would mean a lot if she was able to support that decision, and to take it seriously. 

There are various psychological ways that people can harm themselves, if you are self-harming in a way that could result is physical injury to yourself, we would strongly advise that you talk to your doctor or a medically trained person as they will be able to treat any physical injuries. They are also great people to talk to about why you are self-harming.  Your well-being is very important to us.   

We have articles on our website that you might find useful: and we have answered similar questions in the past which you are free to read as well:

Remember, you can always phone Childline on 1800 66 66 66 to talk about what is going on for you if you don’t feel ready to talk to someone in your life quite yet. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and our Web Chat service through, is also available daily. While we will not tell you what to do, we are here to listen to and support you, and to help you to explore the options that are available to you in your life. We are here to help you in a way that suits you.   

We hope you have found this helpful and look forward to chatting to you,   


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