Alex's Answer

Forced to show my arms

Your Question

my mom found my blood from sh/self-ha and I didn’t want to show her my arms and she forced me to by hitting me with a huge wooden spoon it left a swollen spot and it hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do since I only have her and my little sister I’m hurting so bad


Hi there,  

You are very welcome to Ask Alex. You have been very brave opening up about your self-harming and we am sorry to hear that you are hurting yourself. We would like to let you know that nobody has the right to hit you with a wooden spoon, it sounds like this was a big shock for you.  

We are sorry to hear that you are hurting so bad; it sounds like your mom is worried and desperate to get you to stop hurting yourself. It also sounds like you both could do with some guidance around this.

You mentioned that you only have your mom and your little sister, so it is understandable that when you are feeling this low, that you have turned to self-harm to manage your feelings.

It is important that you find someone to talk to about your feelings and emotions. What are things like for you in school? Is there a teacher or counsellor you could reach out too? You have the right to be listened to and to be heard. It is the responsibility of the adults in our lives to keep us safe and get us help and support if we need it.

Remember Childline is always here to chat and listen to you. You can contact us for free by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or chat online through Live Chat at You won’t be judged or told what to do. We will go through your options with you. The team are here 24-hours a day, every day.

What is it like for you when you feel the urge to self-harm? What thoughts go through your mind? Self-harming may have become a way of coping with hard or difficult feelings for you. Do you think you would like to replace the self-harming with another response that is more helpful? What would it be like for you to contact Childline when you feel the urge to harm? We can stay chatting or talking with you until the urge passes.

It sounds like things with your mom have become difficult. Is hitting with a wooden spoon a regular occurrence in your home or is this a new development? You have the right to live in a safe home, free of violence. If you would like help in ending any violence in your home, you can contact Túsla – The Child and Family Agency in Ireland for help. Túsla will assess your situation and can put a plan in place to help your family respond to difficult situations without using violence. They can also recommend help for you with your self-harming. If you are not comfortable contacting Túsla yourself, Childline can help you with this.   

There are organisations dedicated to helping people who self-harm.  Pieta House at  and 3ts Turn the Tide at, both have guidance and support options for you dealing with self-harming and also for your Mom or those supporting someone who self-harms. You have the right to medical help too. How would feel about talking to your GP about your self-harming? Your GP can refer you to further help should you need it. We would recommend that you get your wounds and where you were hit with the wooden spoon, checked by your doctor or at the accident and emergency department at a hospital as soon as possible.  

Thank you for contacting us, you have been very brave. Remember, you never have to feel alone. Childline is always here for you, any time, for any reason,


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