Alex's Answer

Feeling very troubled right now

Your Question

Hi, Alex. I feel very troubled right now. I just had a little argument with my mam and it started because she brought up my hygiene issues. I struggle with showering a lot and I struggle to get into the shower on time and such. I do shower once a week but I sweat a lot since I do dancing and exercise. She told me that I need to get into the shower but she said it in a joking manner. My parents constantly make fun of me for my lack of showering and I dont know why and I just got frustrated and snapped at her a little. I told her ” Do my feelings not matter? ” and she told me to calm down and that she was just messing but they joke about my hygeine a lot. I ended up swearing at her and she got very angry at me and now we aren’t talking. I’m wondering what i’ve done wrong. Do my feelings really not matter on the situation? Are they right when making fun of me? Was I wrong for getting angry at her? I’m so confused and I can’t understand why I’m like this with my hygiene and why I can’t shower normally like everyone else. Should I really just suck it up and take the jokes? Nobody has offered help for my hygiene issues so I don’t know what to do other than suck it up.

Answer

Hello there, welcome to our Ask Alex service,
 
First off, we want to let you know that it takes courage to reach out and share your feelings, especially when you’re feeling troubled. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time right now, and we want you to know that you’re not alone. Many young people face challenges with their families, and it’s okay to feel frustrated or upset about it.
 
It’s understandable that you felt hurt and frustrated when your mam made jokes about your hygiene. Everyone deserves to feel respected and understood, especially by their family. Your feelings absolutely matter, and it’s important for your parents to listen to you and take your concerns seriously.
 
It’s not okay for anyone to make fun of you, especially for something as personal as hygiene. It’s natural to feel upset when people make jokes at your expense, and it’s okay to express that frustration. However, swearing at your mam might not have been the most effective way to communicate your feelings. It’s important to find healthy ways to express yourself, even when you’re upset. You my find this article helpful www.childline.ie/reconnecting-with-your-parents-or-siblings-after-a-fight/.
 
As for your struggles with showering regularly, it’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different. It’s okay to look for help and support if you’re having difficulty with your hygiene routine. There could be underlying reasons for your challenges, and speaking with a trusted adult or your GP could help you understand and address them.
 
You are never alone in facing these challenges. The Childline team is here to support you and explore your options with you. You can reach out to us anytime, 24 hours a day, by phone at 1800 66 66 66 or through Live Chat at www.Childline.ie. Your call or chat is free, confidential, and we will not judge you. It is a safe space to talk about whatever is going on for you.
 
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through difficult and not-so-difficult times.
Alex

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