Pat's Answer
To Pat / 01 Apr 2019
Topic: Feeling sad on Mother's Day
Your Question
My mum died 2 years ago and I still miss her so much, I don’t know why she had to go. My dad doesn’t want to talk about her anymore, he says we have to get on with our lives, but I find it so hard.
Sometimes, I am so sad that my head hurts and I can’t sleep and then I can’t concentrate at school and I can’t tell anyone why I’m upset because Dad says not to talk about it anymore.
I hate it when Mother’s Day comes around, and it makes me feel really angry and alone, and I can’t bear to face it this year again.
Please help me
Lauren
From Pat / 24 Jul 2019
Answer
Hi Lauren
Thanks for writing to us and explaining how things are for you. It sounds as if you are finding it hard to cope with the loss of your mum, and that is perfectly understandable. When someone close to us dies, it is normal to feel many different feelings at different times afterwards – including sadness and sorrow, loneliness and confusion.
These feelings are natural reactions and can sometimes be overwhelming and very hard to bear. You mentioned that you sometimes get bad headaches and find it hard to sleep. At those times it must be hard for you to concentrate at school the next day. At other times these feelings may be a little easier to live with and to manage.
With Mother’s Day coming soon, it is natural that you would be finding it extra hard to cope with your feelings of loss and loneliness when everyone seems to be talking about their mum. And it is understandable that you would feel angry about not having your mum around with you at this special time.
From what you are saying, your dad doesn’t want to talk about your mum. Different people react in different ways when they lose someone close to them. Sometimes people find it hard to talk about their sense of loss. It is important for you to know that you do have a right to talk about how you are feeling and to get some help and support through this difficult time, it can be hard for everyone to know where to start and where to find the right support, but at Childline we can listen to you and help you to look at different ways of getting some help. You will have the space to talk to us, at your own pace, with no pressure.
If you would like to talk to someone in confidence, you can ring Childline 1800 66 66 66 (24 hours), text to 50101 (10am – 4am) or chat online at www.childline.ie (10am – 4am). You can also log onto www.rainbowsireland.ie – Rainbows Ireland has programmes to support young people who have lost someone they love.
Take care
Pat